A Symphony of Strength Lenny J's Battle with Bullying

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One out of every five students report being bullied.

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13% were made fun of, called names or insulted.

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They were pushed, shoved, tripped or spit on.

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One in five tweens have been cyberbullied.

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It's a problem and it has to stop.

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Welcome to Bully.

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This a hero's journey.

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There's light at the end of the tunnel.

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Our passion is to show kids that there is life after bullying.

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You'll hear from former bullies and bullying victims and you'll hear how they made their journey from troubled youth to successful adults.

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Welcome to Bully.

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This A Hero's Journey.

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Now your hosts Tyler Copenhaver-Heath and Clifford Starks.

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Hello and welcome to another episode of Bully, this episode 10, or season 2, episode 2.

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I'm Tyler, I'm Clifford and Cliff.

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It's time for another one, right.

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One out of ten, not so bad.

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So give me, give me it, and let's see what I do.

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Well, here's the thing too.

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Like I uh talk to the guys about setting us up on the opposite side of the table, because I think every time you cheat there is no way that one right.

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Yeah, on my own.

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There's no way you could possibly cheat this time.

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So let's talk about a singer.

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And he opened up about teasing that he experienced in ninth grade.

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He actually published a YouTube video and a group of older boys found out at school that this video was online and they started teasing him and saying sing for me, sing for me.

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And he said he posted about this.

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He said that made me feel absolutely horrible, made me feel sing for me.

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And he said he posted about this.

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He said that made me feel absolutely horrible, made me feel like a joke, like what I was doing was stupid or wrong.

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He recalled.

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He also said it's not a joke to me, to me to make somebody feel bad about what they're doing when they're doing what they love.

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Every single person to deserves to do what makes them feel alive.

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So this was in reflection after he was already famous.

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You got any guesses?

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Justin Timberlake.

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No, that's a good guess, shawn Mendes.

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Oh yeah, so he basically.

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One out of 12.

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And since the beginning I've said I want to have an episode on a musician, because I think artists actually suffer the most from some of this stuff, because what makes them amazing in their talents is considered maybe odd to some people or they get made fun of for it.

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I see, especially with musicians and stuff, it seems A lot of the people that we've actually talked about celebrity-wise were musicians that were teased.

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Right, it's very true.

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I mean it happens with athletes and stuff too, you know.

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But and like computer people and things like that.

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But I noticed like the artists especially like what's making them unique and what will eventually be their greatness, they get picked on for it.

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So really happy to have a musician on the show today.

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Um, our next guest.

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He's a fan of the show.

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We've been interacting great guy.

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Um, he's an up-and-coming musician.

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Recently noticed in a post he was talking about having over a million streams on his latest song.

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So it's a good thing we have him on now before he doesn't want anything to do with us anymore.

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He's worked with Nick Jonas, megan Trainor and oddly Shawn Mendes so I didn't even plan that to name just a few.

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He's not only a performer, but he's also a gifted writer, producer, mixer and he masters all his own tracks.

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And, by the way, a lot of his music is based on trying to help other people.

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In addition, he works with others in their music.

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He's worked with Craig Mabbitt from Escape the Fate, danny Worship from as alexandra jason page, who's the original singer of the pokemon theme song pretty cool, um.

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And many others.

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Super excited to have on lenny j today with us thank you so much.

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Thanks for having me yeah, thanks for making.

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It's so crazy the way like I set the intro up, you know, with some questions and stuff, like I always do, and then Shawn Mendes, I didn't even put that together, you know.

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So it just so happened that that it's kind of fate today.

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Yeah, yeah, you never know with who's going to pop off, cause I remember I, when I first was really pursuing music professionally or for like full time, as you would say, I played the show and sean mendez was on the bill and he didn't have any of his really big hits yet.

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It was back when, if you know, the song stitches at all.

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But oh yeah, he was sitting there on the steps, we were backstage and I'm like how are you doing like?

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You know you're on next, because we were just on what I was doing, so he was even on after us and he was like, yeah, I'm going to play a new song.

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And he played Stitches and I was like, oh, this is a good song and, like here, we are now.

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you know, you never know who's going to pop off, but yeah, no, Did you know that about him too, that he took some flack for his music early on?

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I didn him too that he took some plaque for his music early on.

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I didn't know exactly that, but I didn't know.

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I've met the person that taught him guitar and produces and writes with him all the time my a close friend of mine who I write with a lot.

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His close friend is that person that pretty much like guided sean forward, which is cool to witness things like that and people helping each other as opposed to you know, bring them down.

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Totally, and you and I have discussions a little bit offline or online rather, about, you know, like trying to go through some of the struggles it takes to, you know, help people.

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You know it's like you have some flack that you get online.

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I do, cliff does, you know, everybody gets some flack online, you know, but it's like the greater purpose, right, and that's what something that spoke to me with Sean's you know message that he put out there is like, look, he was picked, picked on for this growing up and now it's become such an asset and a tool to now make a difference for other people, right.

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Yep, and with music, the bullying kind of gets worse the further you go and the longer you do this for.

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So, even before I go back to the beginning, I feel like the bullying and everything is at its worst right now for me, believe it or not, as I get more streams, more streams, get more followers, the more eyes on you, the more things people have to say, and it almost doesn't make sense, because, wow, I'm growing so much, people are receiving my music so much, they must hate me.

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It doesn't make sense, though, because you're growing, so do they act?

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they're probably like I don't like you, and they get you out, and then they put on uh, your song, yeah because they had to hear it or see, get you out, and then they put on your song yeah, because they had to hear it or see you, and so that's within their algorithm too.

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Their social media sources are no dummies.

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Cliff and I were on an episode these really great ladies from England, strong T yeah and they were asking about bullies online, and we're talking about it, and I do think there's two places that cowards dwell these days and it's behind the wheel of their car and online, and especially you and I were talking before the episode.

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It's like oh, it's always the person online that has no profile, no picture.

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You know, all they want to do is post some hate, you know, and then we have no idea who they are.

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So yeah, a few months ago, on one of my songs I posted myself, I was a view of Manhattan behind me and I was just singing my song.

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I pretty much just try to sing my chorus of songs wherever I can at any given moment, because that's just content to post.

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You know, content isn't just a flyer anymore or a billboard of what you did as an accolade.

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It's actually like a net in the ocean.

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So each time you post that chorus it could reach a hundred thousand new people.

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So, yes, I'm going to post my course a hundred times and if you don't like that, that's fine.

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What's going to happen is you're going to enjoy the song and we're going to have a great time at the concerts.

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That's the point of all of it.

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But anyway, I was posting the video of me singing my chorus.

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Someone wrote I hate you.

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I really hope you kill yourself eventually, and I was like thank you.

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Another comment was and the text on it said one day I'm going to play Madison Square Garden.

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This is where I'm from, new York City.

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That's the dream.

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I've seen people go from their rooms to the garden.

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I've witnessed it.

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It's possible.

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I'm growing, I've toured, I've done things most musicians never do and I'm so grateful so it is possible.

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So I will do those things.

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I've played shows like that and for people to comment that is so extreme and they do hide behind the keyboard because it's a private profile with no picture but it even stems back to just people hiding and also sometimes they don't even hide, if you want another bully story.

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I was walking with my girlfriend.

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We're just walking in the park in Jersey.

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This was a couple of months ago.

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These kids like 10 to 12 years old they had to be middle school are walking up to us, cursing us out, going.

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You effing emo losers, losers.

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Look at you.

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Are you goth?

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You?

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Both of you are losers.

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I'm like I'm a grown man and she's a grown woman and you're a child.

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Like cursing me out to my face.

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I was like if this was the 90s, it would go to that violence route with people, because things are crazy back then.

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But like now, it's like with all the acceptance we need, there were kids making fun of me and also my girlfriend to our faces.

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I didn't know what to do.

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I looked at her and I was like what do we do here?

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These are children.

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I can't like attack them or yell at them or scream at them.

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All I need to do is then fill me and put me on their tiktok and then my career is over.

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But it's really insane how I will post things to online.

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Speaking of keyboard warriors, I recently did a quick Taylor Swift cover on my Tik TOK.

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Right, I love Taylor Swift.

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She was picked on off and she's picked on even now and has to rerecord her whole catalog.

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So it's a scary industry.

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Her fans are often picked on a lot of them but her fan base and I bet you they might even attack me for this and I hope you don't edit it incorrectly but their fan base attacks me If I cover her, even if it sounds great or not.

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It doesn't matter.

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You're covering their savior.

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You're not allowed and they berated me.

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I'm talking about tagging people saying we need this taken down.

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Can you do me a favor?

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Never sing again.

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You're horrible.

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You're a loser.

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I never want to listen to Taylor Swift again because of you.

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You're not allowed to listen to Taylor Swift.

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Stop it.

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I hate you.

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Like it got thousands of views and comments of just hating on me because other people did it and they run with it, but it's only those fans doing it and it and it's really weird because even another musician I know goes throw back to 2015, when you were allowed to cover Taylor Swift before getting attacked.

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So even they see it and I clicked most of the profiles that are doing it.

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It's young boys, girls, they, them, whatever community you belong to, posting videos of them crying that they were attacked at school.

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And then you're attacking me when my music is literally made for us just to sing along together and get along my song, tommy Pickles, named after Tommy Pickles from the Rugrats.

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He's a leader.

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I literally say, together, we could lift each other because we all deserve a chance.

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All my music is to push forward.

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I don't even make many love songs.

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It's all about achieving what you want, whether it's a goal, finding love, whatever, if you have a goal, a dream, it's that you could do it, no matter what.

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It's not impossible.

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That's the point of my music.

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You tell me right now, cliff, you want to be an astronaut?

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I'm going to say, okay, I, I'm not going to be fazed.

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Or if you tell me after this episode, you're not going to host with Cliff anymore and you want to be a scuba diver, go ahead.

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Or you want to be a tennis player?

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Sure, I don't even question it, but I don't know.

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People online are attacking me and other people, especially those who are attacked, and I comment back, even saying hey, I looked at your profile.

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There's a video of you crying that you were picked on today.

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My music is about acceptance of that and I hope you find it in you to understand what I'm saying.

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Go f yourself.

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No, I don't, I want to.

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And I'm like wow, what?

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So that's your response.

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Yeah, and I was like I'm saying and then someone else will like I've been getting a lot of happiness lately and my following actually doubled in the last like month and a half on tiktok and social media.

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Everything's just going more rapidly right now and it's really amazing.

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I made the radio for the first time this month, which has been super exciting.

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But the point is I don't focus on the hate, but I get confused by it and I tend to focus on it inadvertently because I'm like how are they so quick to attack when I'm there?

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Most songs on radio about getting wasted, underage kids doing things like it's very confusing time.

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I feel like I sound old when I say I don't get the new generation.

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They're singing about being wasted.

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And they're 17, they're 16.

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This is major labels, adults promoting children under influence of stuff and that they won't find love, that they want to kill themselves, and all this extreme things.

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But I say something and I'm told from people.

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I've had people even close to me tell me your positivity is toxic.

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All you do is push forward.

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Life isn't like that.

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You need to get over it.

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You're not happy, you're not, I'm like well, yeah, I know I'm not happy.

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I don't hide that.

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I try really hard to be happy and I push positivity because I don't want people to feel how I do and if I could help that for them, great.

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But for you to tell me I'm living in this happiness as a false thing, or they tell me you're choosing depression and people who are said choose that and you're, you're being happy because it's a front, it's fake, it's just like what?

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What will please people?

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And I'm you can't.

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You gotta take care of yourself and the people around you and that'll spread that kindness to where it needs to go and not to keep this as a run-on conversation.

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But it reminds me of cliff's episode where he said he can't be on the bus with everyone and protect them when they're getting picked on Like you just can't be on every bus protecting every kid on the way to school.

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Drag me back to like where where music came in and like younger years kind of stuff.

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I didn't start music until well into high school, so we got to get there first, but before that I always felt like I did not fit in whatsoever.

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I was too hyper aware of everything I was.

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I still don't understand it because I question it right now and I don't.

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I tried to get medical help, like therapy, all that, and it hasn't been working great for me for years now.

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But I'm trying.

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But anyway, I'd be five years old, six years old, first grade.

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Why are we sitting in lines like in the classroom?

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Why are we all in a uniform?

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What?

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What is all of this like?

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Really questioning reality, reality, very woke, as you would say, and I wasn't aware of what I was doing.

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I was just thinking I was weird and I would question why do we line up as boys and girls Like, what is all of this?

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It's confusing to me the structure.

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Who created the school system?

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Why is a five-year-old thinking this?

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My parents weren't these conspiracy theorists.

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They were really cool.

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They still are.

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They introduced me to music and everything.

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But anyway, I'd be really young.

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Not knowing anything Felt really weird my whole life.

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So even even in kindergarten, the one thing I had was music.

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My parents introduced me to music since I was born Def Leppard, bon Jovi, all 80s music, brian Adams, anything they just love music.

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So that's one thing I got along with everyone about.

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I could talk about music and I did sports.

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I did very typical thing of a 90s kid into the 2000s you play sports, you do that whatever it was fun.

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I loved it.

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But there was no music in my middle school to play, so no one I knew except one friend really played an instrument or sang.

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That wasn't a thing.

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I always thought I was a horrible singer because no one in my family could sing well and I could hear it.

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I didn't sing and say, wow, I'm amazing, I knew I didn't sound good, I could just hear it and that's part of being a producer.

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And I didn't know I was producing and well, this is going to lead into it.

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I'd be in the car seat going dad, do you hear that the guitar is only in the left ear?

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And then his vocal moved and then the drums I could hear.

00:18:29.851 --> 00:18:46.587
Each hit is panned a little and I wasn't saying panning because I didn't know that term yet, but it's in the left ear and that cymbal's in the right ear and the backup vocals are like further away, and then I would do this my whole life and dissect songs, and I didn't know people made a living doing this.

00:18:46.587 --> 00:18:51.210
I didn't know you can grow up to be a musician for a living.

00:18:51.210 --> 00:18:52.272
I didn't know that was real.

00:18:52.272 --> 00:18:55.028
I thought you're kind of born Eddie Van Halen.

00:18:55.028 --> 00:18:56.265
I thought that's it.

00:18:56.265 --> 00:18:58.047
I didn't know you work for it.

00:18:58.047 --> 00:18:58.662
That wasn't.

00:18:58.662 --> 00:19:01.780
That's a fantasy world, you know you don't see that.

00:19:02.541 --> 00:19:15.452
So then remember some bully stories that I want to talk about, of how you need to be a leader when you're young and I found that out early back in middle school.

00:19:15.452 --> 00:19:31.326
During these days, I remember one specific incident that we had, like the DARE program, you know, teaching us about drugs and substances and stay away from them, and everyone picked pins at the end of the day and this stays in my head.

00:19:31.326 --> 00:19:45.700
I'll never forget this you pick pins and everyone thought it was cool, you know, to roll up straws and pretend they look like cigarettes and stuff, cause it was the nineties, you know, and there was candy cigarettes back then.

00:19:45.700 --> 00:19:51.301
So I was like that's stupid, because cigarettes give you cancer and that will kill you.

00:19:51.301 --> 00:19:52.924
So why would you do that?

00:19:52.924 --> 00:20:02.569
That's how my brain processed it and I chose the say no to smoking pin and I was the only person.

00:20:02.815 --> 00:20:06.844
Everyone chose the same one because it was like cool looking, everyone wanted it.

00:20:06.844 --> 00:20:11.604
And I really went up to the front of the room and picked the different one.

00:20:11.604 --> 00:20:20.643
The whole class made fun of me I don't know why to this day and like, as I'm choosing it, they're like why did you pick that one?

00:20:20.643 --> 00:20:28.145
And yeah, it sounds silly, but that stuck with me, cause then we went to lunch and recess and they were making fun of me.

00:20:28.145 --> 00:20:31.181
They're like, look at the pin on your shirt, it doesn't look like ours.

00:20:31.181 --> 00:20:39.663
And that moment was a big moment for me, cause I felt horrible.

00:20:39.663 --> 00:20:41.529
I, you know I went home like why am I different?

00:20:41.529 --> 00:20:42.317
Why did I choose that one?

00:20:42.317 --> 00:20:42.604
And I felt horrible, you know.

00:20:42.604 --> 00:20:42.913
I went home like why am I different?

00:20:42.913 --> 00:20:44.200
Why did I choose that one?

00:20:44.200 --> 00:20:46.643
And I felt like why didn't I just choose the other one?

00:20:46.643 --> 00:20:58.424
I didn't want that other one, I wanted the pin I wanted, and that's okay, yeah, but they really made me feel weird and different because I just chose a different pin.

00:20:58.835 --> 00:21:03.825
That's actually, that's a sign of a really strong mind.

00:21:03.825 --> 00:21:16.736
You know, to have that outside of the crowd mind at a young age, it's actually, I think, a wonderful thing, because when we get older, yeah, when we get older especially it's like it's hard to break those things.

00:21:16.736 --> 00:21:24.625
Actually, I think it's harder when you're younger and so and that's the key to so much that goes on these days is people just jump on board with everybody else, right?

00:21:24.625 --> 00:21:28.362
People are afraid to voice their own opinions, people are afraid to stand up to other people.

00:21:28.362 --> 00:21:30.261
I mean, we were asked on that last podcast.

00:21:30.261 --> 00:21:45.660
It's like not to go too morbid, but that woman that was stabbed to death in front of like 30 people and it's like the behavior that you're exhibiting by choosing the different pin to me is outside the sheep mentality and it's important, it's heroic, in my opinion.

00:21:46.041 --> 00:21:52.626
Thank you and I appreciate that, and I want everyone to feel like you could choose what you want and do what you want.

00:21:52.626 --> 00:22:01.005
And there's just so many times I felt pointed out like, oh, you do this, or did you know Lenny does this.

00:22:01.005 --> 00:22:04.102
Why are you pointing me out?

00:22:04.102 --> 00:22:05.204
What did I do?

00:22:05.204 --> 00:22:14.059
And now I'm realizing I was just a threat to everybody for being a leader and everyone's scared of other people having power.

00:22:14.059 --> 00:22:16.027
And it's not about power, though.

00:22:16.027 --> 00:22:19.077
I'm just making music, I'm just speaking my opinion.

00:22:19.077 --> 00:22:25.659
For some reason, people are threatened by other people and I don't understand.

00:22:25.659 --> 00:22:31.817
I believe, with music or whatever success there is out there, there's enough for everybody.

00:22:31.817 --> 00:22:36.105
I'm not the only one that could become successful in music.

00:22:36.105 --> 00:22:38.076
Both of you could have hits.

00:22:38.076 --> 00:22:41.084
I could have hits justin timberlake and Justin.

00:22:41.104 --> 00:22:42.527
Timberlake and Shawn Mendes, cliff for sure.

00:22:42.767 --> 00:22:45.421
Hey, I'm going to tune the studio.

00:22:45.421 --> 00:22:46.505
We'll make some songs.

00:22:48.096 --> 00:22:49.940
I'm actually making a reality for.

00:22:49.940 --> 00:22:51.483
Tyler.

00:22:52.605 --> 00:22:53.268
No, but for real.

00:22:53.268 --> 00:23:00.185
I've recorded people that actually were tone deaf, meaning they cannot carry a tune when they sing.

00:23:00.185 --> 00:23:10.621
If they're singing happy birthday for those who don't know, they'll be literally going happy birthday to you and they won't know it's off Like they'll have no idea.

00:23:11.256 --> 00:23:16.301
When we talk about Hollywood, like I feel like Hollywood's been doing a decent job, like they always show the bully kid.

00:23:16.301 --> 00:23:19.182
That's not cool, right, it's not cool to be the bully kid.

00:23:19.182 --> 00:23:21.038
We show that in Hollywood all the time, right?

00:23:21.038 --> 00:23:24.926
But then you just brought up that and that, actually it gave me a thought.

00:23:24.926 --> 00:23:29.415
It's like American Idol.

00:23:29.415 --> 00:23:30.298
You're right, they pick on the people, right?

00:23:30.298 --> 00:23:32.203
We have a lot of shows where we're producing bully behavior basically.

00:23:32.203 --> 00:23:33.266
So I guess it's not as clear.

00:23:33.266 --> 00:23:37.226
As you know, it goes past Hollywood, you know, it's like we're basically teaching people.

00:23:42.335 --> 00:23:44.410
Yeah, the contracts say they could use your image and likeliness for humor to mock you.

00:23:44.410 --> 00:23:45.115
It says it that they can mock you.

00:23:45.115 --> 00:23:47.201
Someone I know is on American Idol.

00:23:47.201 --> 00:23:52.741
They did a thing where he went over yeah, katy Perry's one of the judges.

00:23:52.741 --> 00:23:59.641
He went over, shook all those, all their hands, and the way they cut it she dropped something.

00:23:59.755 --> 00:24:11.943
I believe I forget the exact story story, but something happened where she looked like disgusted for some reason, so they made it look like when he shook her hand she was disgusted because he was like this rocker and didn't look like the typical person.

00:24:11.943 --> 00:24:19.297
And after they made her said like I need hand sanitizer and then they literally made them look like he was a gross person.

00:24:19.297 --> 00:24:25.939
Yeah, and then, like they even cut it to the point where they were talking to him going do you?

00:24:25.939 --> 00:24:27.481
What kind of singing do you do?

00:24:27.481 --> 00:24:28.483
All kinds you sing?

00:24:28.483 --> 00:24:29.486
Do you scream?

00:24:29.486 --> 00:24:30.528
Can you growl?

00:24:30.528 --> 00:24:35.066
And so then he did all three and when they cut it, they go could you sing us a song?

00:24:35.066 --> 00:24:38.160
And they cut it to the and they were like what's wrong with you?

00:24:38.160 --> 00:24:44.297
And they made him look like really horrible and he tried suing and like posted like I didn't.

00:24:44.297 --> 00:24:51.377
This isn't what happened, and I never saw him pursue music after that and he was awesome.

00:24:52.601 --> 00:24:54.826
Maybe you're actually answering my question, but I'd be curious.

00:24:54.826 --> 00:24:58.403
So, is American Idol good for the world or is it bad for the world?

00:24:58.403 --> 00:25:00.817
Is it good for musicians or is it bad for musicians?

00:25:01.377 --> 00:25:04.684
If Ryan Seacrest would like to have me on his morning show.

00:25:04.805 --> 00:25:18.615
American idol is such an amazing show yeah and if it's for your mental health and your image, I say be very careful, because I don't know how great it is then, because someone could take you and do anything to you and make you look like anything.

00:25:18.615 --> 00:25:24.881
There's all this technology with ai that could change what you say and my voice and you could cut it up.

00:25:24.881 --> 00:25:29.500
I think it's great in the sense that, yes, it can make opportunity.

00:25:29.500 --> 00:25:37.723
You could be seen, you could be heard, but with anything, even if you're not an American Idol, a record label, a manager, anyone.

00:25:37.723 --> 00:25:54.144
If this wasn't a bully podcast, you two could even cut this up and make me look horrible with what I say, and so I think American Idol can be amazing for you, but truthfully, I wouldn't go on there myself.

00:25:54.746 --> 00:25:55.828
Yeah, what do you think?

00:25:55.828 --> 00:25:59.226
Because you used to get clipped and stuff all the time out of context.

00:25:59.895 --> 00:26:07.465
I'll say Len lenny, you're absolutely amazing because life's about how we think about things.

00:26:07.465 --> 00:26:15.683
You know like there's risk and reward to everything that we do and ultimately, everyone wants the highest reward.

00:26:15.683 --> 00:26:19.923
Yeah, you know, even when a bully's bullying, they want some sort of reward.

00:26:19.923 --> 00:26:21.769
Oh, I'm like everybody else.

00:26:21.769 --> 00:26:23.755
You were completely different.

00:26:23.755 --> 00:26:46.843
Yeah, you thought differently and you did different things yeah and eventually we get into this mold where we realize, oh crap, I gotta be different to be seen like yeah, so, so it's like it's like all right, everybody be like everybody else yeah oh crap, I gotta be different so that I could actually show up and give value to the world and be like yeah exactly it's

00:26:46.863 --> 00:26:51.598
so yeah, yeah, and I look at it and I go, okay, I get the game.

00:26:51.598 --> 00:27:03.988
The game is there's light and there's darkness, yeah, and in the darkest times, you get to see the yeah, you get to, you get to see the stars, you get to see the stars.

00:27:03.988 --> 00:27:06.019
What does everyone want to be a star?

00:27:06.019 --> 00:27:07.962
Everyone wants to be a star.

00:27:07.962 --> 00:27:11.355
But can you be a star in the darkness?

00:27:11.355 --> 00:27:14.381
And with what you're doing, lenny?

00:27:14.381 --> 00:27:26.701
You, you want to shine light on people and sometimes, like I I've learned myself, you know, I'm a 42 year old man now Some people don't want that, even a little bit.

00:27:26.701 --> 00:27:29.836
Yeah, they'll claim that they want it and you know what.

00:27:29.836 --> 00:27:31.259
That's okay.

00:27:31.259 --> 00:27:31.741
Yeah.

00:27:32.082 --> 00:27:32.262
Like.

00:27:32.262 --> 00:27:34.607
At one time I thought like, oh, it's so unfortunate.

00:27:34.607 --> 00:27:37.221
There is no unfortunate, there's just fortunate.

00:27:37.441 --> 00:27:49.979
Yeah, it's unfortunate when you see them in pain, though, because they do put themselves in pain, and that's what's unfortunate, because people could avoid certain things, and their behaviors do lead to destructive behaviors.

00:27:49.979 --> 00:27:55.148
But we can only help people so much, and they are choosing their path.

00:27:55.148 --> 00:27:55.695
That's the thing.

00:27:56.257 --> 00:28:05.851
What what's so cool and they choose what's so cool pain is a piece of the game yeah pain is a piece of the game.

00:28:05.851 --> 00:28:09.746
When, so, I was an overweight kid and I lost my weight, there was pain.

00:28:09.746 --> 00:28:33.755
It was different, and I and I realized like, oh, oh, this is just one big game at the end of the day, we can't see hindsight 2020, and so when we start you, we can literally reframe our past, and in reframing our past, we create a new future yeah and I was just like holy crap, this is insane.

00:28:34.696 --> 00:28:37.963
And so, lenny, you're, you're great and that's it.

00:28:37.963 --> 00:28:38.826
You're great.

00:28:38.826 --> 00:28:43.880
You don't have to explain like, oh well, I did this and I did this and I'm trying to be happy.

00:28:43.880 --> 00:28:45.729
No, you're, you're going to be happy.

00:28:45.729 --> 00:28:47.115
Sometimes you're going to be not so happy.

00:28:47.234 --> 00:28:52.557
Sometimes you're going to have a story to tell, and the story wouldn't be getting good without the pain, right?

00:28:52.557 --> 00:28:54.320
No, and I think about this all the time.

00:28:54.320 --> 00:28:55.984
What's the better feeling?

00:28:55.984 --> 00:29:00.163
Is it pressure or pleasure, or relief from pain?

00:29:00.786 --> 00:29:09.759
yeah, and I think usually it's relief from pain, because you don't know if you're just in pleasure, sure, but you come out of the womb eating ice cream right away exactly.

00:29:09.900 --> 00:29:11.343
You don't get paid in music.

00:29:11.343 --> 00:29:13.847
You don't get paid in music to further down the road.

00:29:13.847 --> 00:29:26.390
Yeah, that relieves the pain because the rest is pleasure, in a way, and the most reward is when I'm like oh, I bought a meal.

00:29:26.390 --> 00:29:32.125
Yeah, and financial struggles are arguably one of the biggest struggles in the world.

00:29:32.125 --> 00:29:43.236
I would say so, yeah, the relief of pain of your success or anything you do, the relief of pain whether you become a new person or your transformation of your body leads you somewhere.

00:29:43.236 --> 00:29:45.180
Yeah, it's a relief of pain.

00:29:45.540 --> 00:29:53.162
It is, and sometimes you can't have that without the pain right yeah and so and and like who?

00:29:53.162 --> 00:29:58.684
Oprah's never gonna interview you if you haven't been through enough things to make a story so I can.

00:29:58.786 --> 00:30:01.017
I don't want to have you unless you don't have a crazy story.

00:30:01.017 --> 00:30:01.336
Oh yeah, I tell people all the time.

00:30:01.336 --> 00:30:01.736
It's like these awful things happen to you.

00:30:01.736 --> 00:30:02.095
Just overcome to make a story.

00:30:02.095 --> 00:30:02.955
American Idol won't have you unless you don't have a crazy story.

00:30:02.914 --> 00:30:05.421
Oh yeah, I tell people all the time it's like these awful things happen to you.

00:30:05.421 --> 00:30:06.624
Just overcome them.

00:30:06.624 --> 00:30:07.425
It's part of your story.

00:30:07.425 --> 00:30:09.000
That's the way you have to think about it.

00:30:09.000 --> 00:30:11.878
The story would be no good if everything went perfect.

00:30:11.878 --> 00:30:15.758
You know, if everything was pleasure, the story wouldn't be any good, right, and you couldn't.

00:30:15.758 --> 00:30:23.248
So the fact that you've overcome you know the adversity of these, being different as a kid, which I applaud you for it's.

00:30:23.248 --> 00:30:30.442
It's hard to be different in this world Now, dealing with the naysayers online every time you want to sing and share that and you have to deal with them.

00:30:30.782 --> 00:30:39.875
I mean, these are the things that is going to lead you to your success and, like we talked about online, it's like you just got to focus on the people that it is important for Right.

00:30:39.875 --> 00:30:42.681
The message is for right, on the people that it is important for right.

00:30:42.681 --> 00:30:43.261
The message is for right.

00:30:43.261 --> 00:30:45.445
The message is not maybe it's a little, for I mean, hurt people, hurt people.

00:30:45.445 --> 00:30:47.068
It's a little bit for them, but it's more so.

00:30:47.068 --> 00:30:50.291
It's like that person out there sitting in the corner that's siloing right.

00:30:50.291 --> 00:30:52.000
That just needed to hear that message today.

00:30:52.323 --> 00:30:52.663
Correct.

00:30:52.663 --> 00:30:58.800
And you know it all started for me to be a leader, truthfully, when I was three.

00:30:58.800 --> 00:31:04.289
My I have two brothers and one of them was diagnosed, is diagnosed with autism.

00:31:04.289 --> 00:31:23.049
So at three years old, my parents, who were only 26 at the time, are telling me you know well, I was six then and they were, you know three, 29 then, which is still insanely young to have two kids and one's diagnosed with autism.

00:31:23.049 --> 00:31:27.228
And they said you have to do well in school.

00:31:27.228 --> 00:31:29.717
You got to take care of your brother if anything happened to us.

00:31:29.717 --> 00:31:32.785
So here I am, four years old, five, six years old.

00:31:32.785 --> 00:31:36.001
Whatever going, I have to get straight A's.

00:31:36.001 --> 00:31:41.607
If I don't get straight A's, my autistic brother is going to be in a home alone as an old man.

00:31:41.607 --> 00:31:43.696
That was my thought from five years old.

00:31:44.397 --> 00:31:49.336
So everything I did, I cannot drink, I cannot smoke, I cannot get in trouble in school.

00:31:49.336 --> 00:31:50.799
I've never got detention.

00:31:50.799 --> 00:31:53.827
I've never failed a class.

00:31:53.827 --> 00:31:55.432
I've failed tests.

00:31:55.432 --> 00:31:56.255
That's natural.

00:31:56.255 --> 00:31:58.579
But I was a straight A student.

00:31:58.579 --> 00:32:03.328
My parents were very hard on me for my grades.

00:32:03.328 --> 00:32:06.375
If it was under a 90, I'm in trouble.

00:32:06.875 --> 00:32:11.448
I reached the point where I was disciplining myself first, second grade.

00:32:11.448 --> 00:32:15.306
I remember I was spelling things wrong, like simple things.

00:32:15.306 --> 00:32:24.028
It was first grade spelling test and I got I think I got a 63 on this test reading, comprehension and spelling thing.

00:32:24.028 --> 00:32:55.546
I went home, unplugged my super nintendo and didn't play for two weeks because I said I don't deserve it, because I'm I'm failing my family and that comes from a little bit of pressure from my parents, truthfully, and it's because my father didn't have a father and his mother was not a mother figure, so he had 0% parenting, so he 200%-ed me and that was actually kind of detrimental to me.

00:32:55.546 --> 00:32:57.369
But we're working on things.

00:32:57.369 --> 00:32:59.134
I'm a workaholic.

00:32:59.134 --> 00:33:19.482
Because of it I work so hard, I work myself to the ground to take care of people and I've neglected myself for years, up until now even and it's a big issue I'm dealing with I want to ask you an interesting question, um what's your big dream?

00:33:20.163 --> 00:33:21.025
What do you want to accomplish?

00:33:22.346 --> 00:33:24.490
I'm grateful that I do music full time.

00:33:24.490 --> 00:33:31.762
I'm sitting in my room right now with my dinosaur bed sheets right there, as you could see, having a great time.

00:33:31.762 --> 00:33:32.925
I make music right here.

00:33:32.925 --> 00:33:34.736
My songs made the radio.

00:33:34.736 --> 00:33:35.978
I work for people.

00:33:35.978 --> 00:33:37.480
I listened to my whole life.

00:33:37.480 --> 00:33:40.344
I feel like I made it.

00:33:41.045 --> 00:33:42.426
I don't have a Lambo yet.

00:33:42.426 --> 00:33:43.828
Do I want one?

00:33:43.828 --> 00:33:44.589
Yeah, I do.

00:33:44.589 --> 00:33:46.557
They're cool, they're fast, they're fun.

00:33:46.557 --> 00:33:47.358
I can't lie.

00:33:47.358 --> 00:33:49.383
I can't lie.

00:33:49.383 --> 00:33:49.844
It's fun.

00:33:50.305 --> 00:33:51.508
Does that define who I am?

00:33:51.508 --> 00:33:53.300
No, I don't want to be popular.

00:33:53.300 --> 00:34:01.445
I really don't, because that means I got to deal with talking to more people and receiving more of a headache because people want to just come at me.

00:34:01.445 --> 00:34:05.984
Now, the more I grow, they want literally people I was close with.

00:34:05.984 --> 00:34:07.590
Oh, you're having some success.

00:34:07.590 --> 00:34:08.815
You don't talk to me anymore.

00:34:08.815 --> 00:34:10.378
What?

00:34:10.378 --> 00:34:12.621
Yeah, where is this coming from?

00:34:12.621 --> 00:34:15.606
And I don't want to be popular.

00:34:15.606 --> 00:34:18.195
Uh, it's just part of the territory.

00:34:18.195 --> 00:34:30.213
I just I will play arenas and stadiums and give people a place to just sing and dance and have a good time, and you will get the messages you need from my music.

00:34:30.213 --> 00:34:34.922
They're often lessons, positivity and how you apply them to you.

00:34:34.922 --> 00:34:39.369
I hope it lets you say I'm going to do this.

00:34:39.369 --> 00:34:40.297
I'm going to do that.

00:34:40.297 --> 00:34:41.922
It doesn't matter what you want to do.

00:34:41.922 --> 00:34:43.626
I hope that's what my music does for you.

00:34:43.626 --> 00:34:48.887
So the big goal and dream is to just elevate what I've already done.

00:34:49.375 --> 00:34:56.860
It's like I watched a documentary on the yacht racing and these guys came out of Australia and the Americans were always winning.

00:34:56.860 --> 00:34:59.764
Heavily financed boat Always won Far and away.

00:34:59.764 --> 00:35:04.385
And then here comes these guys, and the guy was an engineer that built the boat from a different industry.

00:35:04.385 --> 00:35:10.447
I don't recall what he built this fin underneath the boat that had never been heard of, and that boat destroyed every other boat.

00:35:10.447 --> 00:35:17.188
And it's literally because he came in with a different mindset, a different talent, a different idea of what it could be.

00:35:17.188 --> 00:35:23.920
And I think we're all too often willing to put people in this box, right, oh yeah, you know, and I think we're all too often willing to put people in this box, right, oh yeah, and it's the people that finally, like, think like you.

00:35:23.920 --> 00:35:31.126
And you could see, like early on, that lenny, you know, wasn't, he was thinking outside the box way long time ago yeah so I could see that.

00:35:31.445 --> 00:35:33.460
Um, you know how that would lead to.

00:35:33.460 --> 00:35:37.556
You know you reinventing some things, and what I love about what you're saying too.

00:35:37.556 --> 00:35:40.706
Um, have you seen the new arnold documentary?

00:35:41.248 --> 00:35:43.554
I started it last night what's the first episode?

00:35:43.554 --> 00:35:45.541
Last night, yeah.

00:35:45.541 --> 00:35:53.887
So as soon as it started I was like I'm arnold, I'm literally arnold, I didn't know, and when I'm at the gym I actually do arnold workouts.

00:35:53.887 --> 00:35:58.719
I know I'm not that big, but I actually go to the gym every day and I have trouble gaining mass.

00:35:58.719 --> 00:36:00.603
We could talk about that after You'll get there.

00:36:00.603 --> 00:36:02.085
I cannot gain.

00:36:02.085 --> 00:36:04.088
But yes, go on, arnold, love it.

00:36:04.976 --> 00:36:07.003
I mean like it's so, so amazing.

00:36:07.003 --> 00:36:09.764
A couple of key things, but mostly I want to key in on what Lenny said.

00:36:09.764 --> 00:36:16.402
It's like Arnold says basically, stay busy, that's his key, and be useful, that's his phrase.

00:36:16.402 --> 00:36:16.755
You know.

00:36:16.755 --> 00:36:18.282
Stay, stay busy and be useful.

00:36:18.282 --> 00:36:19.563
That was this key to happiness.

00:36:19.563 --> 00:36:23.085
And Lenny's saying when he's on stage he thinks of nothing else in the world.

00:36:23.085 --> 00:36:29.896
And so I think a lot of people that are lost in this misery they're not staying busy enough, they're not staying busy enough on what they're interested in.

00:36:30.097 --> 00:36:37.260
And the other key take this is a little bit off topic for Arnold he knew, I think knowing what you want is a superpower, right?

00:36:37.260 --> 00:36:41.565
Arnold knew at 10 years old he wanted to be a bodybuilder, he wanted to be a movie star.

00:36:41.565 --> 00:36:48.385
The governor thing came later, but he knew he wanted those things and if you can align everything in your life to that, that's a superpower.

00:36:48.385 --> 00:36:50.297
So the sooner you can kind of figure that out.

00:36:50.297 --> 00:36:53.744
Or Lenny found it out early with music, you know it's like I mean that's.

00:36:53.744 --> 00:36:56.228
I mean that was a huge takeaway for me with Arnold.

00:36:56.228 --> 00:36:57.681
That's why he's so successful.

00:37:02.335 --> 00:37:02.817
That and his work ethic.

00:37:02.817 --> 00:37:03.378
He said he didn't fit in.

00:37:03.378 --> 00:37:03.960
He's like I don't fit.

00:37:03.960 --> 00:37:04.744
He's like why don't I fit in?

00:37:04.744 --> 00:37:07.052
And that's something I've written down that I kind of touched upon.

00:37:07.052 --> 00:37:11.063
But I keep relating to cliff's episode because it's the last one I heard.

00:37:11.063 --> 00:37:23.523
Actually, I listened to a few of them and, um, but even you were saying like belonging somewhere, just fitting in, and to this day, I I still don't feel like I fit in.

00:37:23.523 --> 00:37:26.961
As I grow and I'm finding people who relate to my music.

00:37:26.961 --> 00:37:32.059
Yes, those are the people who I fit with, but it's taking a really long time.

00:37:32.059 --> 00:37:35.487
And if you want me to answer, do I feel like I fit in?

00:37:35.487 --> 00:37:37.097
No, I feel out.

00:37:37.117 --> 00:37:39.782
Here in Los Angeles I don't really have friends.

00:37:39.782 --> 00:37:43.188
I don't go out, I'm only out for business.

00:37:43.188 --> 00:37:44.836
All I do is my work.

00:37:44.836 --> 00:37:50.048
When I was working before we started this, I'm working all day after.

00:37:50.048 --> 00:37:55.364
I'm up from 8 am or earlier past 3 to 4 am working.

00:37:55.423 --> 00:37:59.378
I'm a workaholic and it's not great because it's bad for my health.

00:37:59.378 --> 00:38:17.739
I've ended up in the hospital multiple times and I don't want to blame anything, but it's because of all the bullying, being told how much I have to work, that you can't do this and it requires a lot of work for music or anything you're pursuing to really make it grow.

00:38:17.739 --> 00:38:21.284
It takes so much work and I've been in the hospital.

00:38:21.284 --> 00:38:25.291
Grow it takes so much work and I've been in the hospital.

00:38:25.291 --> 00:38:31.838
I've collapsed multiple times, I've been on IVs, all that stuff, because I'm malnourished.

00:38:31.858 --> 00:38:47.050
I got down to maybe like 120 something pounds at one point and it was because I wasn't eating and I didn't even realize because I was obsessing on making music and pushing forward and a song I have coming out in a few days that, will you know, will be out maybe when this airs.

00:38:47.050 --> 00:38:48.199
I'm unsure when it will.

00:38:48.199 --> 00:38:49.961
But anyway, I have a song on Monday.

00:38:49.961 --> 00:38:51.699
I have a song called.

00:38:51.699 --> 00:38:54.619
I'll just say this I have a song called the Messiah Complex.

00:38:54.619 --> 00:39:03.527
That is about all of this, and a Messiah Complex is someone who feels like it's up to them to save the world.

00:39:03.527 --> 00:39:22.862
And that is not going to happen and that is not a negative or cynical take, because my whole thing is to save the world and I'm telling you, the way it can be done is if you impact those close to you, because you're going to burn yourself out.

00:39:23.195 --> 00:39:25.963
You can't help anybody until you take care of yourself right?

00:39:25.963 --> 00:39:26.865
That's key number one.

00:39:26.865 --> 00:39:30.144
You know it's like you have to be in a good place physically.

00:39:30.144 --> 00:39:34.221
I mean obsessive behavior towards a goal, I mean that's what's going to get you there.

00:39:34.221 --> 00:39:37.820
But you have to, like, still have some balance, enough that your body still gets you there.

00:39:39.135 --> 00:39:41.804
You know the forest and the trees.

00:39:41.804 --> 00:39:49.340
The forest and our stories are defined by us taking action in the story.

00:39:49.340 --> 00:40:05.597
You know, like, just as you say, like I was bedridden for 10 days as an entrepreneur and I was so good with my time and timing, like I knew that I could sleep for four hours on a regular basis and that's what I did.

00:40:05.597 --> 00:40:07.577
I timed it perfectly.

00:40:07.577 --> 00:40:15.411
What I didn't realize was my kid could get sick and that four hours I would normally get.

00:40:15.411 --> 00:40:19.806
I didn't get and it caught up to me and it beat the crap out of me.

00:40:19.806 --> 00:40:29.757
Um, and I did like I didn't even think of myself as a perfectionist, because I'm listening to you and I'm hearing perfectionist, perfectionist, perfectionist.

00:40:30.298 --> 00:40:36.840
There's a bunch of different ways to go after being a perfectionist and it's like, okay, where, what inch?

00:40:36.840 --> 00:40:37.922
Where can I change things?

00:40:37.922 --> 00:40:38.351
Where can I?

00:40:38.351 --> 00:40:51.358
We all like influencing people Like that's the, that's what bully this is about is influencing people to be something different, to be something greater, to be something more, and to remind others who are bullied that they have something different, to be something greater, to be something more.

00:40:51.358 --> 00:40:55.699
And to remind others who are bullied that they have something different, they have something special, they have something more.

00:40:55.699 --> 00:41:06.978
And as we go through that process, sometimes we have to point the mirror to ourselves and say am I standing for what I'm telling others to stand for?

00:41:06.978 --> 00:41:08.041
And sometimes we're not.

00:41:08.041 --> 00:41:11.436
But we have to go through our journey in order to understand that too.

00:41:11.436 --> 00:41:17.476
Beat ourselves up, put ourselves in a gown and say hey, I'm going to sing about this because this sucks.

00:41:17.476 --> 00:41:18.057
Yeah.

00:41:18.579 --> 00:41:21.635
And that's why I took the mindset of people saying you're always positive.

00:41:21.635 --> 00:41:22.476
I was like you know what?

00:41:22.476 --> 00:41:31.858
I need to show them some of the real stuff of how I got to this mindset, because I wasn't always like this, like, yeah, I got to this mindset because I wasn't always like this, like, yeah, you can do it.

00:41:31.858 --> 00:41:34.842
I was like I didn't do it yet, so I don't know if you can do it.

00:41:34.842 --> 00:41:47.311
And just being able to afford rent, food, basic living off of music, to me that's success.

00:41:47.311 --> 00:41:47.913
You know, like do I have a job?

00:41:47.913 --> 00:41:48.594
Yeah, it's mixing music for people.

00:41:48.594 --> 00:41:48.833
I'm my boss.

00:41:48.833 --> 00:41:50.277
If I don't want to work today, I don't have to.

00:41:50.277 --> 00:41:52.059
I've been doing that for a few years.

00:41:52.059 --> 00:41:58.867
I'm so grateful for that and I want everyone who wants to do that to be able to be their own boss.

00:41:58.867 --> 00:42:13.001
But it takes so much work and I need to show what happened during that, because the journey isn't just putting the work and then it all works Like no, you're going to fail and you're going to collapse and you're going to be on the brink of who knows what.

00:42:13.001 --> 00:42:13.963
You don't know.

00:42:13.963 --> 00:42:18.320
It's really hard All of this to you know, really make it happen.

00:42:18.320 --> 00:42:23.061
But people tell me oh, now they tell me you're so lucky what you're doing.

00:42:23.530 --> 00:42:28.139
I wish I could do what you did and I say you know what you did in your 20s.

00:42:28.139 --> 00:42:32.833
You had a life and I have no memories of my twenties.

00:42:32.833 --> 00:42:33.675
I don't remember my teenage years.

00:42:33.675 --> 00:42:34.878
I didn't go out and party.

00:42:34.878 --> 00:42:37.030
I didn't get to sneak out and get in trouble.

00:42:37.030 --> 00:42:38.375
I didn't get to get weight.

00:42:38.375 --> 00:42:39.978
I've never blacked out before.

00:42:39.978 --> 00:42:41.530
I didn't even get to do that stuff.

00:42:41.530 --> 00:42:42.472
I never.

00:42:42.472 --> 00:42:46.800
I never taking drugs Like I'm not.

00:42:46.800 --> 00:42:50.827
I can't because if I overdose and who's gonna watch my brother?

00:42:50.827 --> 00:42:54.900
That's why I never did this stuff and that mindset and that's kind of extreme.

00:42:54.900 --> 00:42:57.349
But you know what it's, who I am.

00:42:57.349 --> 00:42:58.373
I've accepted it.

00:42:58.373 --> 00:42:59.777
I'm learning balance now.

00:42:59.777 --> 00:43:01.605
Maybe everything costs something.

00:43:01.605 --> 00:43:03.532
It does everything awesome.

00:43:04.072 --> 00:43:06.398
A lot of people tell me you're cynical the way you talk.

00:43:06.398 --> 00:43:11.115
You say it's a bad world we're in, but you just need to go about your life and worry about yourself.

00:43:11.115 --> 00:43:19.998
There's a difference between focusing on yourself to further yourself and be healthy and just forget everyone else.

00:43:19.998 --> 00:43:20.679
This ain't about.

00:43:20.679 --> 00:43:23.023
It's about you only Like there's a.

00:43:23.023 --> 00:43:24.670
That's a thing.

00:43:24.670 --> 00:43:27.496
You know there's a fine line and I don't know.

00:43:27.496 --> 00:43:28.940
It's tough.

00:43:29.159 --> 00:43:30.362
You have to have balance in life.

00:43:30.362 --> 00:43:32.512
There's no doubt it's something I didn't learn easy.

00:43:32.512 --> 00:43:33.896
It took a long time to learn it.

00:43:33.896 --> 00:43:35.280
You know balance.

00:43:35.280 --> 00:43:37.338
You know I'm even still trying to do that now.

00:43:37.338 --> 00:43:39.650
And then you have to realize everything costs something.

00:43:39.650 --> 00:43:43.639
You know, to get what you want in life, it does cost, you know something.

00:43:43.639 --> 00:43:45.711
It costs your time, it costs your health.

00:43:45.711 --> 00:43:46.753
You know, to some extent.

00:43:46.773 --> 00:43:49.978
I mean, running a business isn't much different than being in music.

00:43:49.978 --> 00:43:53.505
You know it's like it's a lot of work, it's a lot harder than people think it's.

00:43:53.505 --> 00:43:54.050
You know it's.

00:43:54.050 --> 00:43:55.514
It's stressful all the time.

00:43:55.514 --> 00:43:57.860
You know like it doesn't, it never goes away.

00:43:57.860 --> 00:44:01.494
And same with you know music you're, you know, working for yourself in the music industry.

00:44:01.494 --> 00:44:07.081
But I don't think we would think about working in the micro enough, and that's what I try to think about these days.

00:44:07.081 --> 00:44:10.925
It doesn't matter if 400,000 people see bully this.

00:44:10.925 --> 00:44:16.041
It matters if one person sees bully this and that one person is affected from it.

00:44:16.041 --> 00:44:21.201
Right, if we think about working in the micro, then it's more achievable, right?

00:44:21.201 --> 00:44:25.778
And then if we happen to hit 400,000 people, then of course that is wonderful, you know.

00:44:25.778 --> 00:44:27.210
But for now we work on the one.

00:44:27.974 --> 00:44:34.820
Exactly Every time I post, I've mentioned, it's a net into the internet ocean.

00:44:34.820 --> 00:44:42.119
Now it's not just affect a hundred thousand people, like we're saying, if that one person is affected by that one post.

00:44:42.119 --> 00:44:47.534
If one person hears this episode and goes and tells one person, then it's going to grow one, two, three, the four, four, the eight.

00:44:47.534 --> 00:44:49.759
Then it's going to grow one, two, three, four, four, eight, eight, 16.

00:44:50.398 --> 00:44:53.905
But you have to do it on a micro level.

00:44:54.045 --> 00:44:55.853
You have to Each song I release.

00:44:55.853 --> 00:44:57.800
I can't think it's just going to be a hit.

00:44:57.800 --> 00:45:01.740
If four people like it, I think eight people might like the next one.

00:45:01.740 --> 00:45:09.115
And according to the statistics of how I grow and how business is growing, the numbers show you when it starts going.

00:45:09.115 --> 00:45:14.193
It goes like this and gets steeper and steeper and steeper because it'll go.

00:45:14.193 --> 00:45:17.945
But it doesn't start until that first little bit starts going.

00:45:18.025 --> 00:45:22.898
And it is that micro level and and everything has a tipping point, right.

00:45:22.898 --> 00:45:26.873
Every things work gradually at first, but then they'll eventually hit a tipping point.

00:45:26.873 --> 00:45:30.391
So with music, all of a sudden it's going to explode, right so?

00:45:30.391 --> 00:45:31.815
And you don't know when that's going to come.

00:45:32.237 --> 00:45:36.155
You don't know, everyone's journey is different and it could be when you're 16.

00:45:36.155 --> 00:45:37.659
It could be when you're 45.

00:45:37.659 --> 00:45:38.849
It could be when you're 60.

00:45:38.849 --> 00:45:39.771
It doesn't matter.

00:45:39.771 --> 00:45:42.855
There's no rules to life and people need to figure that out too.

00:45:42.855 --> 00:45:52.706
There's laws, but there aren't really rules and you need to understand you can do anything you want.

00:45:52.706 --> 00:46:05.094
I feel like we're finally seeing that and, you know, I think there's sort of generational trauma finally being broken to the new generation saying like you can pursue what you want, you can do what you want.

00:46:05.094 --> 00:46:06.711
Because it used to be.

00:46:06.711 --> 00:46:10.422
You know, go to school, get married, have kids, work.

00:46:10.422 --> 00:46:15.018
You know, it was very old mindset and now people are doing what they want.

00:46:15.018 --> 00:46:24.784
But it does take a lot more work to do what you want and be your own boss than to just get a nine to five job.

00:46:25.090 --> 00:46:27.817
Yeah, people don't realize how much I do it all.

00:46:28.097 --> 00:46:33.090
I do it all from morning till night and makes it hard to eat, makes it hard to balance a relationship.

00:46:33.090 --> 00:46:47.822
I didn't get to the go to the gym yesterday because I was just too busy Like I could not go there and if I don't do it the posting will slow down and then my growth just stops.

00:46:47.822 --> 00:46:48.985
It really does.

00:46:48.985 --> 00:46:50.315
It's about consistency.

00:46:52.369 --> 00:46:54.177
And I can't get posting done, though, if you don't eat.

00:46:55.201 --> 00:47:00.416
I know, I know you gotta sleep, so I feel like you get zero posts done if you're in the hospital.

00:47:00.476 --> 00:47:01.900
So make sure you eat and make sure you sleep.

00:47:01.920 --> 00:47:15.177
Exactly, and it's just insane though it's so hard and the amount of work that goes into it and it the thing that kind of breaks my heart the most is when people come up to me and they go you play instruments.

00:47:15.177 --> 00:47:18.182
I'm like I'm every instrument on.

00:47:18.182 --> 00:47:22.922
I was like there are songs you listen to that you're hearing me and you don't even know it.

00:47:22.922 --> 00:47:27.918
And like I post about it a lot and it still doesn't reach people.

00:47:27.918 --> 00:47:31.471
There are people who I've grown up with going oh, you do music.

00:47:31.471 --> 00:47:39.851
I was like how, like you've been following me for 15 years on facebook and you don't see it still.

00:47:39.851 --> 00:47:50.000
Well, and that's how hard it is to reach people and, um, but yeah, we have to take care of ourselves because our body is a temple and anything and one day, day at a time right.

00:47:50.440 --> 00:47:51.744
It is one day at a time.

00:47:51.744 --> 00:48:06.798
You can think of the future, and I was wrapped up in the future since a little kid, and I'm always wrapped in the future and I'm working on that, but you really could only take care of right now and be mindful and be in the moment, and I struggle with that.

00:48:06.798 --> 00:48:08.998
I calculate every minute.

00:48:08.998 --> 00:48:12.092
If I'm doing this, this is going to take this long.

00:48:12.092 --> 00:48:12.914
I even stare at the counter right now.

00:48:12.914 --> 00:48:13.675
Hour two minutes.

00:48:13.675 --> 00:48:15.641
It is 1146 here.

00:48:15.641 --> 00:48:16.911
I have this to do, this to do.

00:48:16.911 --> 00:48:18.673
I calculate every second.

00:48:18.673 --> 00:48:24.565
It's obsessive and I don't like it honestly.

00:48:24.565 --> 00:48:33.045
I wish I could change a little, and it's hard, though, though, and with everyone bullying and pushing you, saying you can't do it.

00:48:33.045 --> 00:48:45.610
That makes me want to stay up an extra hour, though, and prove people wrong, and proving people wrong shouldn't be your motive to make it, but sometimes it does feel good when you're like I mean, I've used it.

00:48:45.610 --> 00:48:47.235
Yeah, you know I mean my life.

00:48:47.436 --> 00:48:50.063
I think it's very powerful, if you use it correctly?

00:48:50.382 --> 00:48:51.130
exactly no, but I.

00:48:51.231 --> 00:48:57.052
I agree it shouldn't be to the point where you have to use it, but if you've been given it anyways, why not use it?

00:48:57.373 --> 00:49:01.742
because I love when they tell me you can't do that in middle school I want.

00:49:01.742 --> 00:49:02.998
So I was gonna bring this up.

00:49:02.998 --> 00:49:24.702
Here's a bullying story from my teacher I, when I took tests, they would tell you at school oh okay, so the essays on this test are going to be this paragraph highlighted in your textbook that literally, like you know, it'll say that my hard drive case, right here, it has this red writing on it four terabyte.

00:49:24.702 --> 00:49:28.940
They'll say highlight down there it says four terabyte, three year warranty.

00:49:28.940 --> 00:49:30.371
We're going to ask those questions.

00:49:30.371 --> 00:49:31.614
So what I do?

00:49:31.614 --> 00:49:52.878
I memorized, memorized it word for word, and I would spit it back on the paper word for word, and I would get accused of cheating my whole life that I have mirrors on my desk showing me my books on the floor or I'm copying the other kids, but none of the other kids had it written like me, and it would be word for word, though like like full paragraphs.

00:49:52.878 --> 00:49:54.581
I know that was told.

00:49:54.581 --> 00:49:56.143
I was told I was cheating.

00:49:56.869 --> 00:50:02.090
I know that was a crappy thing to deal with, but how much of that has led you to your work ethic today.

00:50:02.833 --> 00:50:15.079
Yeah, a lot of it, because I see things where I can memorize music faster than a lot of people and I could do these things and your memory is really important and, you know, pushing your brain power it really helped me.

00:50:15.079 --> 00:50:18.139
But yeah, I was accused from my teachers that I'm a cheater.

00:50:18.139 --> 00:50:19.936
There is no way you could do that.

00:50:19.936 --> 00:50:21.514
You cannot memorize that.

00:50:21.514 --> 00:50:22.436
That's a lot to do.

00:50:22.436 --> 00:50:23.260
You can't do it.

00:50:23.260 --> 00:50:26.237
Maybe I am special then.

00:50:26.751 --> 00:50:29.539
So I'll have a take on it.

00:50:29.539 --> 00:50:41.483
You chose to see how you were going to see what was told to you and, um, anyone out there who's dealing with a problem, dealing with the challenge?

00:50:41.483 --> 00:50:47.025
Yeah, life, life should be a certain way, but it's not always going to be.

00:50:47.025 --> 00:50:50.385
You're going to have people who say things, who are going to doubt you, who are going to put a lid on themselves.

00:50:50.385 --> 00:50:50.574
It's not always going to be.

00:50:50.574 --> 00:50:53.398
You're going to have people who say things who are going to doubt you, who are going to put a lid on themselves.

00:50:53.398 --> 00:50:54.141
It's really them.

00:50:54.141 --> 00:50:55.936
They're not even putting a lid on you.

00:50:55.936 --> 00:51:01.559
They're putting a lid on themselves and saying, well, I couldn't do this, so you couldn't do this.

00:51:01.559 --> 00:51:04.277
I couldn't do this, so you couldn't do this.

00:51:04.277 --> 00:51:06.914
You popped the lid off.

00:51:06.914 --> 00:51:08.518
Someone has to.

00:51:08.538 --> 00:51:09.019
You popped the lid off.

00:51:09.039 --> 00:51:10.103
Someone has to you popped the effing lid off.

00:51:11.407 --> 00:51:12.329
Thanks, I'm trying.

00:51:12.329 --> 00:51:18.016
I want everyone to know you can do whatever I don't like being told no, you can do whatever.

00:51:18.751 --> 00:51:20.438
It almost makes me want to do that.

00:51:20.610 --> 00:51:24.280
When you tell me no, I kind of want to be rebellious, because I never had a rebellious face.

00:51:24.280 --> 00:51:26.070
I didn't sneak out, I didn't go to parties and get drunk.

00:51:26.070 --> 00:51:29.152
I didn't get to parties and get drunk Like I didn't get to do that.

00:51:29.152 --> 00:51:31.275
I feel like I miss a big part of my youth.

00:51:31.275 --> 00:51:35.458
Not that I'm saying the youth should go out and party, but you know what I'm getting at.

00:51:35.458 --> 00:51:37.420
I didn't do any of that stuff.

00:51:37.500 --> 00:51:43.965
Absolutely nothing, because look at what you've created, I agree, and look at what you're creating now.

00:51:43.965 --> 00:51:46.929
You've missed nothing, yeah.

00:51:46.929 --> 00:51:48.914
Yeah, See what's just in trouble.

00:51:48.914 --> 00:51:51.371
We look back and go, well, I could have done and I could have.

00:51:51.371 --> 00:51:52.213
And what about?

00:51:52.213 --> 00:52:02.739
And there's this over here, I have today, I have now, you have now, tyler has now, and I look at, pop the lid off.

00:52:02.739 --> 00:52:03.581
Yeah.

00:52:03.701 --> 00:52:07.556
You know that that's the game that I say pop the lid off.

00:52:07.556 --> 00:52:09.119
And what was interesting?

00:52:09.119 --> 00:52:10.583
I actually didn't talk very much.

00:52:10.583 --> 00:52:13.639
I wouldn't speak very much.

00:52:13.639 --> 00:52:21.175
I actually started speaking more outside of the UFC, because people are like Cliff, you got to get your message out there.

00:52:21.175 --> 00:52:22.574
You're a powerhouse.

00:52:22.574 --> 00:52:33.454
And I didn't even realize I had a network that I was building this entire time, even realize I had a network that I was building this entire time.

00:52:33.474 --> 00:52:40.193
And as I started speaking more and more and more and I'm realizing like, oh crap, I've been so busy being in here because no one can break this thing.

00:52:40.193 --> 00:52:41.755
No one can break this.

00:52:41.755 --> 00:52:43.701
I don't believe in you.

00:52:43.701 --> 00:52:49.021
I do believe in you, I kind of believe in you, but now I don't believe in you because my life sucks.

00:52:49.021 --> 00:52:50.492
I don't believe in you.

00:52:50.492 --> 00:52:53.117
And now I do't believe in you because my life sucks, I don't believe in you.

00:52:53.117 --> 00:52:57.907
And now I do believe in you because you showed that you could do it.

00:52:57.907 --> 00:52:59.030
It doesn't matter, it's all in here anyway.

00:52:59.030 --> 00:53:09.396
And when I go like, okay, I can be whatever I want to be, whatever I choose to be Arnold Schwarzenegger, you, Tyler, what do I want to be I shut the noise down.

00:53:09.396 --> 00:53:10.018
Yeah.

00:53:10.971 --> 00:53:14.061
And then people started you got to speak more, speak more.

00:53:14.061 --> 00:53:21.516
And the more I spoke, the more I realized holy crap, not only do I affect others, but they affect me.

00:53:21.516 --> 00:53:22.318
Yeah.

00:53:23.641 --> 00:53:27.668
Yeah, so speaking more yeah, I, I don't like to speak a lot.

00:53:27.668 --> 00:53:35.498
Something I struggled with when I was in other projects was I wasn't a singer in other projects because I thought I couldn't sing.

00:53:35.498 --> 00:53:42.016
I thought to sing you have to sound like Whitney Houston or Aretha Franklin or, you know, bruno Mars.

00:53:42.016 --> 00:53:43.474
You have to be the best singer.

00:53:43.474 --> 00:53:44.639
You don't.

00:53:44.639 --> 00:53:52.331
You just have to have emotion and conviction and have something that relates to people and it'll stick with them.

00:53:52.331 --> 00:53:55.277
And if you have a more pleasant voice, that's always a plus.

00:53:55.277 --> 00:53:59.775
But the point is I was told you can't sing.

00:54:00.115 --> 00:54:19.692
I remember I was in an old project and I don't like to reflect on this because I don't like reflecting on the negative things, but there was a time I said, hey, I want to sing verse two, and the singer said to me sure, just give me a guitar and let me make an a-hole of myself on stage two then.

00:54:19.692 --> 00:54:36.320
And I looked at him and said are you, did you just really make fun of me that badly, when we've been through everything together, we've toured the country, we've made the radio, we've we literally quit our jobs?

00:54:36.320 --> 00:54:39.172
We figured this out together and you won't.

00:54:39.172 --> 00:54:46.014
Let me say something when I do all the audio and even if I stunk, I could make anyone sound like a pop star.

00:54:46.014 --> 00:54:52.643
But you made fun of me and you said no one will sing if it's not you.

00:54:52.643 --> 00:54:54.672
You said my other bandmates can't sing.

00:54:54.672 --> 00:54:57.257
You refuse it, you will not let it happen.

00:54:57.518 --> 00:55:03.496
The same person that told me if his boyfriend becomes more successful before him, he has to break up with him.

00:55:03.496 --> 00:55:06.682
You are you.

00:55:06.682 --> 00:55:07.384
I'm sorry.

00:55:07.384 --> 00:55:08.534
You hate yourself.

00:55:08.534 --> 00:55:11.164
You literally hate yourself, dude, like you hate yourself.

00:55:11.164 --> 00:55:12.610
You literally hate yourself, dude, like you do.

00:55:12.610 --> 00:55:14.514
He's one of the most miserable people.

00:55:14.514 --> 00:55:15.655
I'm not bashing him.

00:55:15.655 --> 00:55:16.798
It's not making fun of him.

00:55:16.798 --> 00:55:18.422
I am observing.

00:55:18.422 --> 00:55:19.815
I was with this person.

00:55:19.815 --> 00:55:30.559
They have something to say about everyone, everyone, and they were one of the best singers I've ever met and one of the most talented people I've ever met in my life to this day.

00:55:31.262 --> 00:55:31.983
That's hard.

00:55:35.936 --> 00:55:40.003
And they are arguably the best singer I've ever recorded.

00:55:40.851 --> 00:55:51.081
I mean you're going places, my friend, and you know I know there was some not so great things growing up, but I think you're a shining example of you know thinking for yourself working really, really hard to get what you want.

00:55:51.081 --> 00:56:01.318
Now, I'm glad you mentioned balance in this, because it's another thing that I'm like working on these days too, and I'll be the first to say that life has to have enough balance, because you can't help anybody with you without your help self.

00:56:01.318 --> 00:56:05.773
Um um, Cliff, before we wrap up today, what do you got?

00:56:06.833 --> 00:56:15.262
Uh, absolutely amazing episode, lenny, appreciate having you and the amazing insights that you gave and for the audience.

00:56:15.262 --> 00:56:23.230
You know, work ethic, believe in yourself, keep moving forward, and support systems.

00:56:23.230 --> 00:56:28.159
You know, the one thing that shows up consistently is who are my support systems?

00:56:28.159 --> 00:56:38.594
And if we're your support system, just keep watching, keep pouring into yourself, keep doing the things that you need to, and if someone needs a support system, share this out with them.

00:56:38.594 --> 00:56:40.277
Let them know that it's available.

00:56:40.277 --> 00:56:43.224
Let's keep shining together.

00:56:43.650 --> 00:56:52.255
You know I'm having a lot of fun and Lenny said it perfectly there's people who want to support and shine, and there's people who want to support and shine and there's people who want to take that shine away.

00:56:52.255 --> 00:56:58.235
Uh, so that that's why it's vital that you be a part of the message.

00:56:58.235 --> 00:57:04.757
You'd be a part of that shining light and and bringing into the society so that we can all show our greatest potential.

00:57:04.757 --> 00:57:09.554
And, uh, tyler, appreciate you, as always, uh, for putting this together.

00:57:09.554 --> 00:57:14.340
You know, you know it's awesome and it's been growing and growing and we've been having a lot of fun.

00:57:14.762 --> 00:57:15.222
So thank you.

00:57:15.222 --> 00:57:21.338
Thank you so much Thanks for having me and I really looked forward to this and I know even my answers were scattered.

00:57:21.338 --> 00:57:23.016
It probably was hard to get a hold of me.

00:57:23.016 --> 00:57:25.378
That's because I'm really doing everything.

00:57:25.690 --> 00:57:26.711
Thank you so much, man.

00:57:26.711 --> 00:57:30.079
Great to have you on Some great mindset stuff.

00:57:30.079 --> 00:57:38.621
And I would say to you, Lenny, make sure you're focusing on the people as much that are getting good things from you as the bad things, right.

00:57:38.641 --> 00:57:45.612
You know, I know we have some haters and bullies in this world, but focus on the good people, the people that are coming back and saying this is how much you've helped me, because those are the people worth it.

00:57:45.612 --> 00:57:48.076
Right, and then eventually you'll bring around the bullies too.

00:57:48.076 --> 00:57:49.998
So thanks so much to Lenny Cliff.

00:57:49.998 --> 00:57:52.141
This is the only time we get to hang out anymore.

00:57:52.141 --> 00:57:56.115
So, I guess we better come back next week and do another episode.

00:57:56.115 --> 00:57:57.382
Thanks for tuning in to Bully this.

00:57:57.382 --> 00:57:58.005
We'll see you again.

00:57:58.005 --> 00:57:58.849
Appreciate you all.

00:58:00.855 --> 00:58:04.382
You've been listening to Bully this a hero's journey.

00:58:04.382 --> 00:58:15.155
The effects on kids that are bullied are many Increased risk for depression, anxiety, sleep difficulties, lower grades and dropping out of school.

00:58:15.155 --> 00:58:18.382
It's a real problem and that's why we created this show.

00:58:18.382 --> 00:58:30.862
We're acutely aware of the pain, shame and damage that bullying causes and our passion is to help kids and families to know that there is always help, that there is always a solution.

00:58:30.862 --> 00:58:33.795
We hope you've gotten some useful information from the show.

00:58:33.795 --> 00:58:43.422
Make sure to like, rate and review, and we'll be back soon, but in the meantime, find us on Facebook at Bully this A Hero's Journey.

00:58:43.422 --> 00:58:46.717
Take care and we'll see you next time.