Bullied to Champion: The Knockout Impact of Mentorship and Resilience
When Taylor Swift turned the scars of bullying into the stardust of stardom, it wasn't just a fairytale—it was a roadmap for triumph. This season, we're kicking off with a bang, celebrating our ascent into the podcasting elite and our recent accolade for Best Co-hosts, all while preparing to unravel the success stories that emerged from adversity's tight grip. We're joined by Ryan Diaz, an MMA dynamo, who throws a one-two punch into the heart of bullying, sharing how the very thing that once tormented him became his catalyst for greatness.
The mats of the gym become our classroom as we navigate the balance of mental focus and relentless drive in the pursuit of passions. It's a place where unexpected kindness meets the warrior's spirit, and where the community's embrace substitutes the support some never received at home. We also dissect the mentorship magic that turns intimidation into empowerment for the newbies stepping into the ring, and how adversity, an often-unwelcome coach, might be the very thing sculpting future successes.
Wrap up with us as we lace up for the tougher rounds of life and sport, delving into the essence of mental toughness and when to toe the line between perseverance and self-care. Beyond the sweat and cheers, we meet the unassuming heroes like Scott Neeson, whose humility in helping others shines a spotlight on the genuine worth of giving back. We're left with the undeniable truth that the lessons learned in MMA about mentorship and community reach far beyond the gym walls, molding not only fighters but individuals who are armored for life's most daunting battles.
00:02 - Bully
06:49 - From Nothing to Fighting
18:18 - Mental Focus and Support in Pursuing Passions
22:04 - Supporting Kids in Overcoming Adversity
27:02 - Overcoming Challenges in Fighting
35:18 - Experience and Finding Community's Power
45:46 - Pushing Through Challenges and Mental Toughness
56:22 - Humility in Helping Others
59:45 - Scott Neeson's Inspirational Life Reflections
01:06:14 - Lessons From MMA on Helping Others
Speaker 1:
One out of every five students report being bullied. 13% were made fun of, called names or insulted. They were pushed, shoved, tripped or spit on. One in five tweens have been cyber bullied. It's a problem and it has to stop. Welcome to Bully. This a hero's journey. There's life at the end of the tunnel. Our passion is to show kids that there is life after bullying. You'll hear from former bullies and bullying victims and you'll hear how they made their journey from troubled youth to successful adults. Welcome to Bully. This a hero's journey. Now your hosts Tyler Copenhaver, heath and Clifford Starks.
Speaker 2:
Welcome to Bully this podcast. Season two, season two, cliff. Yes, season two, episode one right, and so we left it last season and we said, hey, if this is helpful to people, let us know and we'll come back. And it was really cool actually. So, looking on our platform, I just got to notice that we are in the top 50% of podcasts. So raise the roof On top of that, cliff and I won award for Best Co-hosts last season Pretty cool, and above and beyond any of that is really heartwarming feedback from some amazing people, and so we really hope this is helpful. Please continue to send us messages and everything else, and thank you for wanting us to come back and do this, and we're glad to hear it's helpful. So we always start the episode, as you remember, although you're 0 for 5, I think.
Speaker 3:
By the way, no, I got one right.
Speaker 2:
Because you looked at my book? I'm pretty sure Doesn't matter you can't take it from me, ok, and you answered Michael Jordan like five times in a row. You're bound to get it. So today we have a new celebrity that dealt with bullying in their youth and we like to bring this to our audience because then they can understand that some amazing people had had that happen to them. So here's the clues for you. The cause of her bullying later became her success. So what she was into was actually causing her bullying, and later on I'm going to give you this actually extra clue because you need it At one of her concerts she was assigning t-shirts from her bullies, whom forgot altogether that they had bullied her at the start.
Speaker 3:
Taylor Swift.
Speaker 2:
Did you look?
Speaker 3:
Did I get it right? Yeah, you got it right. Woo, without looking, mic drop.
Speaker 2:
So Taylor was into country music growing up and actually this is what got her picked on. So and then look at where she's gone now like incredible heights in the country music scene, and I find that it's sometimes amazing that the talent that you have when you're young, or this instinct or whatever you're into, actually causes like a lot of this adversity or that burden drives you to success in another way and such as our next guest. So I'm super happy to have close personal friend Ryan Diaz here. Cliff and I have both known Ryan for an incredibly long time. It's going to take me a minute to get through all he's done and this is just actually like I've cut this down. But Ryan has been doing so much around the MMA world for a long, long time before it was even like people were talking about it, right? So he was KOTC Bantamweight World Champion, afc Bantamweight World Champion, hook and Shoot North American Champion, two times PNW Champion, fearless MMA Champion, canadian Muay Thai Competition Champion Sorry, champion. International Muay Thai Champion, adcc veteran, veteran of over 50 professional fights all over the world. Who's had the most fights?
Speaker 5:
I don't know.
Speaker 3:
There's some guys that have like 100 fights Travis. Is it not Shannon the Canon?
Speaker 5:
Shannon the Canon. There was another one, the Ironman. They called him the Travis.
Speaker 3:
Trevor or Trevor. What is his name?
Speaker 2:
Oh no, if you don't know, MMA 50 is an incredible amount of fights. And not only that. Our good friend, ryan did those all over the world, lived and trained martial arts in Thailand, ryan and actually I've been to the same place over there. He's a celebrity Philippines, arizona and Las Vegas and now he's moved on past fighting and he's trainer to professional fighters in the UFC and other systems. He owns part of the MMA lab here in Arizona, which is an incredible gym with some really great guys a lot of UFC guys there. He also owns DIA's Combat Sport. You have two locations up there now.
Speaker 5:
Well, basically just across the street from each other. It's just we ran out of room in one gym and we're like, oh, we can't expand. If you guys know like Vancouver has one of the most expensive real estate in the world and it's not like here in Arizona where there's tons of land and it's just make big things. So we just ran out of room so we had to go get the building across the street to add more room for us.
Speaker 2:
It's a good problem, they have right, so, and he's got the locations up in Canada, and you guys do an incredible job up there, always watching his posts on a personal level. It's always nice when I have personal friends on here with these backgrounds, and I don't even know that they've dealt with bullying in their life either. That's what's interesting. We've known each other for a long time. Mentioned this shows going on, and you bring up a story, and I've had that happen with multiple friends that I would have never known, and so it's incredible to have a personal guest on here with a great story that I can vouch for on a personal level too, being an amazing human being still doing a lot of good for the world, because I do believe we've talked about this on the episodes. I do believe that going into a fitness routine or an MMA gym can be incredible for a lot of different things and develop a good community, and so I applaud Ryan for that, and on top of that, they do a lot of self-defense courses around women protection and that sort of stuff, and I'm missing an incredible amount. I can't do the man enough justice, but we need to get on with the show, and so we're going to follow as usual and, for Ryan's sake, we're going to talk about the hero's journey, as always. So we're going to walk you through the hero's journey. We're going to talk a little bit about what it was like growing up and what you can tell the kids to make them understand that you were the ones there too. And, by the way, if you can't tell from his credentials, you would never think in a million years that you dealt with bullying growing up. No, you'd never think. No, I mean, could you tell us a little bit about some of the things that happened to you?
Speaker 5:
First off, we didn't have a lot growing up Like my mom. I love my mom and everything. I always tell everyone everything I have. The person I am is because of her. She came from nothing. She came from a farm in the Philippines Like literally she was having. She was one of those stories where she had to walk five miles to school every day and all that thing. And then she moved to Canada at the age of 19 or 20 and just built her way up. So even us when we were kids, we didn't have our dad around. It was just me and my brother, my grandma and my grandpa. We lived in a basement suite of a house and there was only a two bedroom house so we had to share, the five of us, a small two bedroom like basement suite. So we grew up with nothing and when I was a kid maybe, maybe, believe it or not I was this fat, little chubby kid. You see them back then and now before, after things. Oh, I could do one of those easy. I had like I was fat, really fat, I had the braces, and not only like back in the day, like I don't know if you guys remember, but back in the day people had to wear the headgear.
Speaker 2:
Oh yeah, you had to wear that. Yeah, you know that thing so.
Speaker 5:
I had the headgear, the glasses, and I was a fat little chubby kid. So, man, of course I was like a walking target, sure, you know. And then I wanted to be cool. So, like what I did was I tried to hang out with the old kids you know, the older kids and try to be like you know, I don't know how it was, but maybe I was annoying or I don't know, but I just wanted to be. You know, I wanted to be cool too and I guess being this fat little kid with braces and glasses and headgear, like it, wasn't cool, right. So, like you know, I got picked on and I got, like I got, beat up a lot, yeah.
Speaker 2:
What can you tell us? A specific story, like one time of like.
Speaker 5:
There's so many, but here is there's one, like they just for fun. They're like hey, five of us are just going to beat you up and let's just see if you can take it. Like you know, like I won't say they tried to kill me, but like they booted me and like I just had to shell up and like they kicked me, punched me, whatever. Yeah, you know.
Speaker 2:
I mean we only stay so long on like that sort of stuff. I mostly just want the kids to understand that, like like you, now you've accomplished so much, you know around fighting and stuff like that, you would I mean the same guys if they were in the ring with you now. It wouldn't even be a contest, right? I got a story about that later, I can tell you.
Speaker 5:
But I know you don't want to touch on it, but you know what. That's how it got me into fighting. So what happened was I'll never forget. I always laugh about this story. I was 13 at the time and we went to a high school dance at another school and at the high school dance we were the kids that were from another school. So then you know, the kids that were from that school are like yo, man, you guys shouldn't be here. And then you know, like when you're in high school and then, hey, why doesn't one of our guys fight one of your guys? And then, because I was the one that got picked on, they're just like, hey, let him go. And they didn't care about. Like I didn't think they obviously they didn't choose me because I was the toughest guy. They're just like, okay, yeah, let him fight. A way of picking. Yeah. So I was 13, and I was grade eight, I believe, and they put me up against this grade 12 kid and I had never trained in my life yet and it felt like a movie, because everyone was in the dance and then everyone just started getting out and that's when they started. Then everyone walked to the street. We were all on the street and there was a big circle. I remember this. And my friends tell me and I'm like, oh, let's do this. And I'm 13 years old I didn't even know how old he was. I'm like, okay, let's do this. And I thought I did pretty good. And like I asked my friends the other next day, I'm like, oh, how did I do? And they said, yo, you just went, took him down and you just started pounding on him and then we had to stop it. I'm like, oh, and I'm only a 13 year old kid at the time. And then after that I got into more street fights and stuff and they knew I could fight. So then these guys were like, hey, go beat up that guy. Not beat him, because I wouldn't say beat him up, but like, hey, go fight that guy. And then they did that. See, that was their form of bullying me was to put me in the fights, and they didn't care if I got beat up or not. You know what I mean.
Speaker 2:
And then one day it's not like they were breaking it up, it was going too far- no, luckily it never got too far.
Speaker 5:
I was a tough kid but I know, looking back now, that if I was getting beat up they would let me just get beat up. And then one day I was like I'm pretty good at this thing, maybe I'll just try to do it for real. And then I went to my first karate school and I was like you know what? Then I started learning the discipline of martial arts. I'm like, hey, I don't need to do this stuff and fight on the street. One day I'm going to fight in the ring for money and do this professionally. And at the age of 13 or 14, 13 was when I decided I'm like you know what, I'm going to do this.
Speaker 2:
Is that when you officially started training, was it around 14? 13.
Speaker 5:
It was that same year. Yeah, because it was only about a few months of street fighting where I'm like I'm pretty good at this.
Speaker 2:
You know what I'm saying. When you originally went in, what did you find there that was the most helpful? Was it a way to finally be another extension of what was happening in the street, or was it the community?
Speaker 5:
I don't know about you guys, but when I was a kid I was a big Bruce Lee fan. I was a big like. I always talk about even blood sport, like.
Speaker 4:
John Club Van Dam. You look at him now. You're like ugh. You're like, what was I thinking? I was like I was a big karate kid fan.
Speaker 5:
Sure you know and I love the martial art movies I'm like you know what I want to do this? And then, when I actually started doing it myself no-transcript, hey, I feel that this is something I should be doing. And then I started, even at the age of around 13, 14, or around 14 more. A year later, I started reading about the samurai life, Like the whole mentality and the whole samurai code, the Bushido code, and I was like you know what I like this, like the Seven Rings and Well, yeah, the Book of Five Rings, five Rings sorry. That's Miyotomusashi. And then there was obviously there was the Chinese Sun Tzu Art of War. I even read those when I was a little kid and I was like you know what? This is what you got to do. You got to have discipline in your life and I want to do this right, and so that's what really got me into it. Was it the martial arts movies first, and then getting into like the Bushido code and like the whole samurai mentality?
Speaker 3:
Yeah, yeah, I mean I got a question with the Bushido code, right respect to that. And then I think something about our childhood, like when our moms speak to us and our moms give us certain values that help extend values in new areas of life. So did your mom give you any specific values that really helped you extend into what you're?
Speaker 5:
doing. The number one value my mom gave me is just she didn't even give it to me, I just saw her do it. It's just work her ass off. Yeah, my mom worked so hard, like she was a single parent, you know. There was a time even where she had to take a job in Seattle. We were living in Vancouver and she would have to work the whole week in Seattle and come home on the weekends to see us, and that was the only time she got to see us, you know. And then I can see all the hard work she did. And then, like she even just started at the bottom of wherever she, eventually she got a job at the university and I saw her start from the bottom and go right to the top. That's awesome. And she became one of the managers at the university.
Speaker 2:
That's awesome. Yeah, yeah, was she really supportive when you wanted to get into the?
Speaker 5:
So this is the funny part is that my mom is Like every mom you don't want your kid to fight. Yeah, she never wanted me to fight. She never watched me fight. She hated that I fought. Yeah, she was the one that would drive me to the gym. If she could, she would pick me up. If I could, she could, she would. When I started fighting in. I started fighting in the ring at the age of 16. She would drive me to the arena and then just pick me up after Because she didn't want to watch you.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, did she watch any of your fights over there? This?
Speaker 5:
is where the funniest thing is is that I started fighting on TV yeah, like, tsn in Canada is the equivalent to ESPN in America, sure, and they started putting MMA fights on TSN, okay, and so I was fighting on TSN, and then there was even the times where I won. I was fine. And she wouldn't watch. But yet she would tell all her friends to watch. She wouldn't let. She wouldn't watch. So she's never seen me fight before Interesting. And I asked her one day I go, she's just like, she just goes. I can't see my son getting hurt, even like even just one punch to the face. So you know what? Yeah.
Speaker 3:
I wonder about that visceral response that she might have as a mom. Yeah, I could only imagine, of course. But respect, and speaking about that hard work, there's a saying be, do have. And then I've been, I've actually talked to you about this see, do have. Like we become what we see. And you are actually an inspiration to me. You know, as I was coming up as a fighter, this was one of my coaches and watching the amazing things you did, it made me want to do amazing things. Yeah. You know, and I'm a grown adult, yeah, so we're really extending off of each other.
Speaker 2:
Well, I'm curious too, it's like so we both know Diaz personally being a really nice guy, you know like an extremely kind hearted individual and everything. How much of that, you think, Because he's always that way. I've never seen him be different. He can be a little bit more testy sometimes when somebody gets on him, a little bit like anybody. But what I'm getting at is like how much of him being that way in the gym, you know like made you be such a nice guy in the gym too. It's like there's a time to be nice, a time not to be nice.
Speaker 3:
You know what I mean yeah Well, it's so interesting. Certain values attract Values. Yeah Right, and I only want to be around people who treat me right. Yeah. And I learned honestly, I learned that young, you know, when my biological left, I was like holy crap, people can just leave your life, so I'm going to choose who I'm going to have in my life and who I'm not going to have in my life. Yeah, so when I came into the gym, I got to see personalities that were like my own and we really fed off of each other and supported each other, you know.
Speaker 2:
And we couldn't have a better guest to talk about this with, because Diaz a lot of times. So what we've learned through this journey, like one of the things, is like a community is absolutely everything right, and so, whether you realized it or not, probably getting into that community at 14 years old was imperative too, because you had these guys that were jerks to you, you know. And now you get in, you probably met some decent people within training, right?
Speaker 5:
Well, that's the thing is that they always tell you if you got to surround yourself with the people that want to do something that you want. Yeah. You know, if you want to be a rich person, you got to surround yourself with some entrepreneurs. Yeah, you can't have Joey the nose as your best friend If you want to become a basketball player, you got to surround yourself with other basketball players. You know what I mean. And when it comes to fighting actually I just had this conversation with one of my friends you think that fighting is an individual sport because it's just one person fighting. It's not no way. You are only as good as the people like I won't even say behind you, but they're beside you. Yes, because they need to be there. Like for us as an MMA, you need the teammates to have training partners, sparring partners, you know, drilling partners. Then you need a coach to tell you what you're doing wrong. Then, when you go in the cage, like you need that other eye that doesn't see things that you I'm sorry that sees things that you don't see. Yeah, you know. And then even the other thing we talked about was that there's going to be days where you're like I don't want to do this, sure, like I'm tired and you know, and you need that person, or that those people be like no, let's go. Yeah. You know what I?
Speaker 3:
mean, well, that's, I got a thought too, because you were a calm energy that I like being around, yeah, and I expressed that. So I got to ask the question like where did that calm energy come from? Or do you even know where?
Speaker 5:
it came from. Well, I got a lot of energy. The thing is is, when it comes to fighting, like I'm going, like it's funny, because when it comes to fighting, it's like I try to tell everyone this like you got to flip the switch, yeah, Like okay, hey, we're fighting now. We're going to do our job, yeah, like, hey, let's do our job. And that's the most important thing about fighting, because some people try to let the emotions get involved, like and I'll admit it, there's been fights, too, where I just didn't like the guy and I realized that that was the wrong thing to do yeah, you have to fight. When you fight, that's your job, yeah, you know. And then you have to, like, do what you're supposed to do, and if you let emotions get involved or you start thinking of other things, you're not going to be able to do your job.
Speaker 2:
You're explaining it so much better than I've ever been able to, because what I've really tried to get across to the audience, you know, especially around the MMA sport, is like it's amazingly nice. People Like these are kind-hearted people Like you walk into the gym and it's like I would miss a training and I don't even do it for a living and I would have 15 text messages to say hey, tyler, where are you? You know it's like, are you all right? How's the ankle?
Speaker 5:
You know like so what a lot of people don't understand and this is actually something I learned from being at the lab is that even being at, when we were trained together, we were being around the best fighters in the world this is one thing that you learn is that the best fighters like the best anything, the richest guy in the world, the toughest guy in the world they don't have to tell you that they're tough, they don't have to act like they're tough. The richest guy doesn't have to say, hey, tyler, I own this, this, this and that. You know they're just rich. And same thing with fighters. They're just tough. They don't need to act tough all the time. You know, it's like we need to act tough when it's our job to Sure, but outside of that, like yo man, you got to have fun doing this thing. Yeah, you know, and that's one thing that we do at our gym and that's we get a lot of compliments about. This is that I know, like you keep talking about how walking in a gym is very intimidating. We try to take that out as much as possible. So, one of the like even my big things and we check on this every day if it is your first day at our gym, we try to introduce you to as much as our staff as possible and, like everyone always says, oh, thank you for coming in, hello, and one of the other biggest things that I tell my staff is they have to greet every person that walks in and every person that leaves, whether it be just a simple hello. You know, have a great class, or how was your day? Or have a great day today. You have a good class today, like that's the most important thing.
Speaker 2:
Absolutely, and I was going to get to this. I knew we needed to get to this because you're the perfect person to talk about on this episode, but Cliff and I were on a podcast called Strong Tea a couple of months ago, or whatever and amazing podcast, by the way, if you want to check it out. They deal with, like, issues that most people don't talk about. Right, and the girls asked me and this almost made me break into tears you know, and it's like Tyler, how do you help a kid who has no parental support, no support in general at home that is experienced Because we tell them the same things that we've learned through this show. You got to get them involved with the peer community. You got to give them one friend. You know, like they can't be siloed, because that's when it's things get really dangerous and it's like, well, how do you help a kid that has messed up parents? And like I almost broke because immediately I felt that kid right and then I was like I didn't have a great answer to it and so like I really want to talk to you about this, because one thing I've been pondering is that initial scare into the gym for one, or when you're 13 years old. I applaud you for getting yourself kind of. I mean, you had your mom's support but you've decided that's what you want to do. That's hard for a kid, for the most part at 13 years old. Like you have to kind of ask them are you into the violin, would you like to try the violin? And then you go, get them into the violin classes. Right For a kid to go, 13 years old. I want to get into the violin. You know it's not the easiest thing to do and then if they don't have parents that are going to help them, they don't know how to walk in the door for a violin. So one thing I've been pondering lately and I wanted your advice on this and we've talked a little bit about this what if we talked about this advisor program and we had business owners like you or people that were in the fitness industry? I mean, I've offered several times too. It's like if you're out there and I'm around your area and you're scared to walk into an MMA gym, I'll go with you, you know as a kid. Or if you're scared to walk into the lifting gym because that it can even be intimidating, like I'll go with you, you know. But what if we had a nation of people that own these gyms or anything else Violent, anything else and say, hey, email me personally? You know, like you were one member I know you're busy, but a member of your staff would you accept an email and we'll cut this if you decide you don't want to do that. But would you accept an email from a kid that says I'm really interested in MMA. I don't have anybody to show me how to get involved? Would you say to that kid hey, I'll walk you through the door. You tell me what time you're going to show up. I will walk you in the door. I'll make you?
Speaker 5:
Yeah, you could do that, but the thing is that's what we do already. Like as soon as somebody's new in the gym, we take care of them as much as possible. And it's funny, we have kind of like a checklist that we do. Number one we have to ask certain questions Like you know, how'd you hear about school? What's your goal? And that's even just from a business perspective. You need to know that. Then, after that, you know it's very important to understand their goal. Like, let's just talk business for a second. And when you ask somebody their goal, what's so important I'm giving a secret out is that you have to explain to them how you're going to help them achieve their goal. Sure, so that's an important thing. And then the next things we always ask them hey, do you have a bottle of water? And then you know we give them a free water. Yeah, like you know, those are the little things, and that's one thing about everything in life. Even fighting is about the little things. And then the other two things are three things that we always make sure. One, they need to know where the bathroom is. Two, they need to know where to put their stuff. And three, they need to know where they're class and who they're and meet their instructor, you know.
Speaker 2:
So let's dive a little bit deeper into that. So the last couple years, or the last year since we've been on break, I've been studying a lot of adversity. Yes, stuff, right, and we're talking about underdogs and that sort of stuff, and how do underdogs rise to the occasion and things like that. And Malcolm Gladwell does a wonderful job in his book Outliers and he actually gives an example of two genius IQ people, right, and one of them is raised wealthy and one of them is raised in poverty. Because, let's face it, bullying is a form of adversity that we're going against, right, and so that's why it's so important these kids become, get through it, because they become the most successful people in the world. But they also need to know how to advocate for themselves. So Malcolm Gladwell talks about the poor guy and the rich guy and how they navigate through life, right, and the rich guy gets told at one point in his university career he had a job change or something and he was talking to the university I need to switch this class. And the university is like you can't do that. So he immediately took no, dropped out of school. He never became much in life. The other guy basically killed somebody and was able to talk himself out of it because he was raised. You know, like kind of like. Malcolm Gladwell's point is he was raised with this entitlement, right, and he became Oppenheimer who ran the nuclear projects in the US, and he wasn't even prepared for it either. He wasn't even that good, but he was so good at advocating for himself that he was able to do this. And my point is the difference between success and not, and it's actually proven that people that deal with adversity, that get past it, become the most successful people in the planet.
Speaker 5:
I agree 100%.
Speaker 2:
You just have to give them also that ability to advocate for themselves, right. And so what my concern always is with the kids that should get into something. They're too scared, right? I mean even getting them to write that email initially, I think might be tough for them.
Speaker 5:
So that's the thing is that they might have to have a situation in their life where they you know that makes them have to do it. Either A they get, you know, not going to say anything bad, but like, let's say, they get jumped or beat up right, or another thing and the whole time that you're saying this and this actually has been helping us is UFC getting so popular. You know, people watch these athletes on TV fighting like, hey, I want to do that too. So that's the other one. Either that or the most common one is their friends do it, and now they want to do it.
Speaker 2:
Well, their friends are what gets them in. It's easy to walk in the door with your friends, right?
Speaker 5:
But, like you said, like ah, but then that's why that's part of it. They have to go through that adversity to get into the gym.
Speaker 2:
You know what I mean. So what's your best advice to a kid out there that's way too afraid, maybe getting bullied?
Speaker 5:
Just you know what For all the kids out there that are getting bullied you got to. The step one is that you got to get the strength to even just walk into a gym or find something that gives you that confidence and realize that you are a lot more powerful than you think you are.
Speaker 2:
I completely agree with that. And here's the thing I was telling somebody earlier today it's like you kind of have to do no, I'm not going to say kind of you have to do. Whatever the thing in life that you fear the most, that's the thing you have to approach, because that's the thing that's going to grow you the most.
Speaker 5:
The reason I'm laughing is we just had this talk about fighting. You should practice the thing that you're not good at, because if you're a, say, for example, you're a striker, you practice striking. That's easy for you because you're a good at striking. You should be practicing your grappling, absolutely. You know what I mean. Because you're not good at it, you have to do the thing that you're not good at and practice the thing. And then the reason why a lot of people don't want to do it, why they don't like being uncomfortable and it's not easy. But then, like you just said, that's the difference between a champion and one that's not a champion. So well put, so like even my belief is that every champion has to have a hard life or had to have some sort of hardship in their life. And reason why is because to become a champion, you're going to go through a hardship, any kind of hardship, whether it be getting injured before a fight or in a fight. You got hit and you're cut and you want to quit. And what is the easiest thing to do in those situations Quit and unless you know, ok, like, and this is how I believe my training and training should be is that you should train so hard, you should be put yourself in the worst positions. Why? Because if you get put in a fight, you know hey, I'm OK, I've been here before and I know what this is like. I can get through this, and that's the thing is that, because if you've never been there before, you're just going to want to take the easy way out, and if you don't know that you can actually push through it, majority of people are not going to try to push through it, they'd rather take the easy way out. Like you know I had this conversation just last week that you know, when things get hard in the fight, there's that little voice in your head that says, hey, just tap, just tap and it's all going to be over. And then, if you don't know how to shut that guy up, that guy is going to win.
Speaker 2:
I'm smiling because I can feel like this is Cliff and I waters hands down. We talk about this all the time, so I know you're probably dying to say something I'm going to let you go. I got a million things. You're describing it so well too.
Speaker 3:
I will say, ryan, you've done so many amazing things and won so many championships. You know, sitting here sharing your insights and your wisdom and what you've done, and as scary as it can be and I'm talking to myself, I'm talking to the audience, I'm talking to you guys as well the pain of changing has to be less than the pain of staying the same. I always ask the question what happens if I don't change? What happens if I stay in this shit? What happens if I stay in it? But what happens if I'm able to pull myself out? You know, you went through pain at 13, and you could have just kept getting in fights with kids, but you said you know what, let me try this. And that's what it's about. Let me try this. And you're right, I know that voice. I know that voice well. But before you even get out on the stage, you're like oh my goodness, I'm getting ready to go on live TV, everyone's getting ready to watch me. What if something bad happens? Like, all right, shut up, calm down, Focus.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, I mean, most of the greatest building you can do is by approaching fears, right. I mean, this podcast is a fear for me. I mean, I don't know if you fear it, you don't fear it these days, but for me this was a huge fear doing this podcast, right, but it's a fear that we've approached and then, like I've done so much the last year because of it, you know, approaching this.
Speaker 3:
No, it's. It's cool watching you go through your process, watching all of us go through our process, getting the reminisce with you again and everything that you're doing. It just reminded me of all the old memories. I told you and, by the way, like and this is a compliment that I'm saying I knew you were a fat kid because I was a fat kid and we both had fun together. And the way he described the fun and how to use it and how to make it, I'm like I see you.
Speaker 5:
But, like you know, you talk about like about trying to succeed and go through hardship. But the other thing is is that you know there's that line that says you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
Speaker 1:
You gotta, you gotta, take the shots.
Speaker 5:
And then the other thing is is that you have to be, you have to not be scared to fail or not be scared to lose. Like there's a lot of times people don't do things because there's oh, I don't want to fail, or I don't want to lose, I don't want to. You know what I mean. You can't. Yeah, Like you know, there's the guys like you got a Floyd Mayweather, you got a bunch of those guys undefeated. Yeah, you got Kabebe undefeated, but, like you know, that's, that's not the majority of people. Yeah. And, like you know, they maybe fail that. Something else, like didn't Floyd not win the gold?
Speaker 3:
Yeah, you know well that you make a really great point there, because that's what we see. Yes, it's not the stuff that we don't see, yeah, and all the failures that happen that we don't see.
Speaker 5:
Sure. Well, that's the thing that a lot of people don't understand about, like anything in life, especially even fighting. They don't see the things that happen behind the lights. Yeah, like man, there's just the endless days of training, like you know, and then like, oh man, I'm not good enough, or you know, and then you have bad days. As a fighter, like even as a world champion, you're going to have a bad day too.
Speaker 2:
Well and I think that's what a lot of people don't realize too it's like you have to be. This is a key phrase that everybody says you have to be willing to be bad at something to be good at it. Right, it's like I want people to realize right now. Here's one of the best MMA coaches in the world and he'll tell you there's not a person that walks into his door that's ready to be in the ring day one.
Speaker 5:
It's funny because we get a lot of guys and this is what's funny, because, yeah, they always tell me like, yeah, I want to fight.
Speaker 4:
Yeah, I've been a street fighter, you know, so you know what I there's.
Speaker 5:
The funny thing is what I say to them is you know what the first thing you got to do is? You got to train. I go, you got to do less talking about fighting and just do it. Yeah, and one of the best lines I tell people is just shut your mouth, keep your head down and just train and things will happen. Yeah, you know, you know. And if you have a guy that spends the whole time, I'm going to do this, I'm going to do that, I'm ready to fight. Like you're spending more time talking about it than actually going to do it.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, you know, I want to ask you so because you have coached so many people through the journey. So what are, what are three things that people can actionably train on on a regular basis to actually get get good as a fighter?
Speaker 5:
Like you mean specific drills and stuff that they can do on their own. Is that what you mean? More mental drills?
Speaker 3:
though, than anything.
Speaker 2:
Okay, Because we are that would go into anything. You know what the funny thing?
Speaker 5:
was is. You know who actually taught me this is when me and you were still at training was. Were you with us when Carlos Condit was with us For a little bit? Yeah, so Carlos Condit taught me one of the best things ever. He wasn't the most technical, he wasn't the strongest, but one thing that I did and I think he might have forgotten me asking this to him I asked him like hey, like you know, you win all the time, and there's times where you're like you know, they don't think you're going to win Like how do you do that? And you know what it is is when he goes in there, he knows he's going to win, he doesn't know how, but he's just going to do it. And that made me start to think that you know what that's the most important thing is that you have to believe in yourself. Yeah, and he believes himself so much he doesn't know how he's going to do it, but he's going to kick your ass. Yeah, you know, he's going to beat you. Yeah, you know. And that's the number one thing that has to happen that a fighter has to work on is the belief they have to believe in themselves, because then I always tell people if you don't think you're going to win, how do? You think you're going to win.
Speaker 1:
You think someone else is going to win for you.
Speaker 2:
No, you can't.
Speaker 5:
Then the other thing I tell, the number two thing I always tell people is that you got to believe, like you got to believe not just in yourself, but you got to believe in your training, yeah, and then you got to believe and then have faith and trust in what you're doing and also the coaches that you have around you. You got to believe and trust them that they know what they're doing and they're telling you. What they're telling you is right, yeah, you know. And like one thing I like I hope all the fighters know, when I coach them it's like, hey, I've been here, like, I know the mistakes, I've made the mistakes for you. You don't need to make the mistakes because I've done it already. Sure, so listen and trust your coaches and trust the people that you've surrounded yourself with, because we talked about that you got to surround yourself with the right people, yeah, then if you know that you've chosen the right people, then trust that they know what they're doing. Yeah, you know what I mean. Yep, and especially, there's one thing in life that you can never beat. You know what that is Experience. Sure, like there's nothing. There's nothing you can't. You can't beat experience. If someone's more experienced than you. You can't beat them, yeah, like you can't beat them on the experience. I mean no, maybe in a fight, yeah, but like just thought, like you can't, you don't know more than them because they've been doing it for so long.
Speaker 2:
Experience is time, and that's what people don't realize. That's it yes, exactly.
Speaker 3:
Yeah, so believe in yourself, believe in the environment you're in and the people that you have and have faith and trust in your coaches and time you know that's when it comes to thing.
Speaker 5:
If you ask me three physical things. Oh, that's easy. Yeah, one shadow box. Two hit a bag. Three go watch some videos. Why watch videos? Is because if you go watch the best fighters in the world and you do exactly what they're doing right now, you know. You know that it works. Why? Because they're the champions. So, if you do it exactly like they're doing it.
Speaker 2:
That means, hey, you know what I'm doing something right, right now Would actually throw us back to everything you just said too. Yeah, because the same thing they're practicing, you know, over and, over and over again. Time in that their coach is telling them everything you just said goes to that moment they're in the ring. Yes, because they're not even really actively thinking anymore. They're listening to their coach and then boom.
Speaker 5:
Well, that's what all rep fighting is about is repetition. It comes to a point where you don't think about doing things. You've done it so many times that it's just an automatic thing now.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, and that works with everything in life. Yes, you know we might be talking in the context of fighting, because that's your, you know, but you could talk to a kid at any level and use these same principles.
Speaker 5:
Oh the reason I'm smiling, laughing, is I. Fighting can go into any aspect of life, totally, yeah, just the mentality of fighting goes into anything. A business, yeah. A sport, another sport, it's just, it's all the same mentality.
Speaker 2:
And not only that, but like for me personally, being business owner and training, like I don't know how I would ever own a business without the gym and these guys, honestly, because it like you need an outlet, you know, yeah, and the other thing I always try to hit this hard is like you go in there and you have incredible people. They were my network, they were the people that, like my cheers, I would say, like you go in, it's like it's so nice to hear about, have a bunch of people excited to see you, right, yeah, that is not hitting the bag yet. You know, I didn't even get to chance to hit the bag and get some stressed out.
Speaker 5:
That is just people excited to see you, the community right If you think about life in general, even like who wants to die alone, no one know. Life is about relationships and what you've done with four people and what you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:
I mean, you look at the happiest countries and this is proven. There's all kinds of data around this. You look at the happiest populations on the planet. One of the biggest thing around them for health and longevity and happiness is everything else is how close is their family unit, how close is their community? People are social creatures and that's why it's so important that a kid out there right now is scared by himself, with no friends and let's say they have no parents. To get them involved, I would say you shoot an email to one of these guys, like Ryan, you know, and say, hey, I want to get in your gym.
Speaker 5:
You know what the crazy thing is that you bring that up. We have a on our website. We have a chat, yeah, and we've actually had some kids going there. Hey, I'm a 13 year old kid, I want to do this. Yeah, you know, we chat with these 13 year old kids and it's crazy. Like 10 years ago you'd never think of something like that, because the internet wasn't as much as it is now. Yeah, but now these kids have so much like, their access to us is a lot easier. You say email, look what they can do on, like they can go to my website right now, hit the chat button and someone will chat with them. And we've had it numerous times where people have told us hey, I'm a 13 year old kid, you know I want to do this. And then we talk them through it.
Speaker 2:
That's actually huge, because that's a really low barrier at entry.
Speaker 5:
Yes, Shooting a chat. It's easy. That's even easier than an email.
Speaker 2:
Well, and then they get a chance to meet you guys and realize it's not big scary people there that you know like they're going to get hurt their first day or anything like that.
Speaker 5:
And then, especially if you're on our website, you can see all the pictures and everything we do. And it's a pretty website, yeah, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2:
Yeah, no, it looks good. You guys do a really good job too. It's like I can't say enough good things about the gym that we've trained at, really, but it's like and I, there's some beautiful people there and you know like really nice people, but you guys do a really good job of showing that you're willing to be welcome too, and so that's.
Speaker 5:
You know that. Back to business. It's all about branding, right? Yeah, like, even the littlest thing. Like, to me, everything's about little things, and especially in business. Like you say, even the name of our gym, yeah, if you want to use the whole name, ds, combat Sports, yeah, like it's a sport, we put the word sports in there. Yeah, it's a combat but it's a sports. Yeah, and then what we did, like now we're starting to use that full name, but at the beginning and even till now, we're actually more known as the acronym DCS. Yeah, and look how non-threatening that is, Sure.
Speaker 2:
You know what I mean. I mean speaking of which. I mean tell the audience the percentage of people that train at your gym that are actually fighters.
Speaker 5:
So out there. We have about, I'd say, 96, 97% of the people that come to the gym just want to do this for fun, or not even for fun, more for fitness. So the number one reason people come to the gym is fitness. Yeah, you know they want to be active. Yeah, they want to. You know, like you, everyone knows that if that when you stay active, you're, you're a happier person, you get more stuff done, like you'll have a better life. Yeah, the number two reason is self-defense and confidence. You know what I mean. And so you can learn and you're learning a skill at the same time. And you got stress relief. Yeah, like, whether, like for me, the way I look at it, like you know how like stress relief it is to hit some pads.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, there's nothing better. Yeah, nothing better on the planet. Yeah, how often do you guys get a kid in there, or even a young adult or whatever. That's saying, I've been bullied when I was young.
Speaker 5:
You just say that it's like man, we get a few. Yeah, it's sad you know, there's times, like there's times where I have, like, parents ask me to talk to kids about them being bullied in school. Yeah, and like, the one thing that I tell them is because the kids know how, like you know, I've had some kids that been training me for years and know what how to defend themselves but they don't know how to deal with a bully. No, so I tell them this this is the most simple thing. Some parents might disagree, but the thing is, is that what is martial arts for self-defense? Only If someone's hurting you, like you got to defend yourself. Yeah, you know. And then, at the end of the day too, sometimes, like they talk about this, that bullies bully people. That you know that they can. Yeah, that's what bully is. And once a bully knows that they can't bully you, they'll go find it someone else that they can. So they got to show that, hey, you know what. You can't bully me. They need to get confidence and that's what, like, even when I took fighting, when I like I'll be honest, when I started when I was 13, like part of me, yeah, wanted to do this because, like I was street fighting, like, hey, I need to get better at street fighting. Yeah, you know what I mean. But it that that mentality didn't last long? Yeah, it got to a point where it's like I was like hey, I know how to fight, I don't need to fight. Yeah, like I don't need to, I, I, I you know what I mean. It's just, I'm confident enough, I know I can whip your ass, sure that I don't need to do it.
Speaker 2:
That's the other point I try to get across all the time. It's like you're not going to talk to a fighter or a coach or a gym owner on the planet that's going to say, hey, I get in street fights every single day. Yeah, like, okay, that's what I was when I was a kid.
Speaker 5:
And, like you know, when you're a kid, you don't know what you're doing.
Speaker 2:
No, I'm not talking about that, but I'm talking about it as an adult, but as an adult, no yeah, I mean, you know, and that's what I like people to understand too, it's like it's not like Cliffs out solving his problem right now, when the guy honks at him on the street by punching him in the face, and it's not like Diaz is like the guy cut him in the grocery line and he automatically throws an elbow at him.
Speaker 5:
So you think about it. That just shows immaturity.
Speaker 3:
Well, I um off of what you said, ryan. Self-defense, yeah, that's the name of the game being able to defend yourself, because people bullies especially they don't want to mess with someone who can defend themselves.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, yeah, the thing I always try to speak to too is cause, like, originally this podcast was really a concept around um, there's a really good documentary called um bully, and they follow this kid on the bus and he's a thin kid and you know like, and it's not fair either. Because he's a thin kid, he has no confidence. And um, they have a high schooler on the bus, big guy is like my size, it looks like from the documentary and it's like, even if this kind of tried to defend himself against him, I don't think it's going to go very well. And so there is a certain amount of kids out there that I believe can defend themselves right If they get some training and you know things like that or maybe.
Speaker 5:
But even in a situation like that, it's more about the confidence. Yeah, you know, if he projects that, hey, you can't bully me. Yeah, you know what Like sometimes in a situation sometimes I'm not saying all the time Sometimes that's well, hey, I'm just going to leave this kid alone. Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:
I mean, maybe I'm wrong, because I usually direct that kid towards the community because it's like I don't know if we can stop him. I don't know.
Speaker 5:
That's what the whole point is. You bring him into a martial arts school where he's in a community and he gains the confidence from being around, like hey, this is my friends. Yeah, you know what I mean. Like we even, like you, can consider your instructors your friend. Like for me, if any of my kids get like bullied, like I treat them, like like they're my family, like I'm mad, that would be tough, you know what I mean. Yeah, so knowing, just even knowing that like even you think about when you're a kid, like I remember when I was a kid and I knew I had backup, I don't care, even if you wanted to mess with me, go ahead, I got back up. Yeah, you know what I mean. Yeah, so, absolutely that's your.
Speaker 2:
that's a great point. Yeah, got people in your corner.
Speaker 5:
Yes, yeah, so it's like, hey, go ahead, try. So. That's why, like you say about the community, sometimes that's what they need. Yeah, you know like, and that all comes from going to a martial arts school. Yeah yeah, and then, hey, my instructor is this guy, like you know, that's sure you know what I mean.
Speaker 2:
You're right, because that builds more confidence.
Speaker 5:
Even the, the person that we don't intuitively think, can defend themselves very well in that situation, and that's, that's important, because that, like, maybe he can't defend himself, but he has the confidence, yeah, you know. And then at least that way he has a chance now.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, and you wonder sometimes how many times it could be stopped With a very confident. No, do that yeah like sort of thing.
Speaker 5:
No, yeah, like sometimes.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, it can't hurt.
Speaker 3:
Oh man, when, when you're going through a fight and it's getting really, really hard, like because you talk about that mental game that you play sometimes and sometimes it's like I want to quit or I want to tap what do you do to push past that?
Speaker 5:
Like I said, like you. Just you have to practice being there. So there was, I'll never forget. There's this one drill I do. Well, I used to. I can't do it no more because I'm old, but, like I, I call it the treadmill drill and what you do is you're on this on the treadmill for one minute and you sprint as hard as you can in that one minute and you're gonna gas yourself out. Then, once that minute is done, you got to go hit some pads, yeah. So you got to find a way. Like you, you can barely breathe, but that's what happens in a fight, right, yeah, and you're dying. That's like you know, and that could represent being hurt or something. But you know that you can push through that. So now, when you're in a fight, you're like, hey, I've been here before, I can do this, like I know what this feeling is like, I can push through this and I'm gonna be fine, yeah. So that's what it is in a fight. You just have to be put yourself in a situation like that. I Put it in a physical position, you know, like we talk about, like some people, they get into mental positions like yo man, like this is nothing, I had a cat, have nowhere to sleep, like I'm barely surviving. I don't have money, I don't get food on the table, like maybe it's not that far, but it's something like that. We're like, hey, this is nothing, I can get through this. You know what I mean. Sure, like I've been way worse position my mom, my parents got killed, or like, you know, my brother got shot in front of me, kind of thing, I don't know. Yeah, you know. I mean like, hey, this is nothing compared to that.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, we had a guy on last season baseball player and he started talking about David Goggins. And I looked into David Goggins afterwards and like I think one thing that he does and I've actually done this for years my dad told me when I was a kid he's like I was scared on that roller coaster really young kid and he's like tell it to go faster, you know. And so it's like I thought about that as an adult and you know I do that all the time, especially like if I'm working out or dealing with something tough, because then it's my idea, right, yeah, it is my idea. That little voice in my head is my. I'm telling him. You know, I'm telling it more. I wanted to hurt more you know, and I noticed that's what David Goggins does.
Speaker 5:
It's funny, that's when I was fighting. I had that voice. Yeah. It was funny when, when I started getting it into my career, was actually one of my coaches told me hey, ryan, that's where you know your time is done is when that voice changes now Like so what I used to always tell people is like when I got tired, yeah, I got mad. Oh, yeah, I get mad that I'm tired and I wanted to push through it more. Then that the end of the career, I started getting tired. I'm like, okay, I'll take a break for a second. Then I was like, okay, that's what he meant.
Speaker 2:
Well, it was actually one of the most dangerous things to me too, which is why my back's broken. You know it's because we used to talk about mental toughness all the time. You know I'd go into the gym not not feeling well or like kind of broken and be like push mental toughness. You know like oh, you don't feel like doing it today.
Speaker 5:
See, there's that little thin line now, like especially now that now that people are smarter and the technology gone better and the Research has gone better, like when we were younger, we had to push through everything, yeah, no matter what. Oh, yeah, what you got a broken arm? Yeah, you got a few change, sure, yeah, no, that's not good enough. And then you think, as a fighter, like no, you're right, I got to push through this. Yeah, so no one stopped us. Yeah, but now it's like you got to find that right point, because now is it? Is it helping or is it not?
Speaker 2:
because, like because, if you're injured injured, yeah, and you're pushing through it You're gonna be worse off.
Speaker 5:
Well, see, in man there's, that's why it's so it right nowadays, like this is probably a whole nother topic on another Episode. But the whole mental thing, because you know they talk about people's mental wellness. Yeah, you know, and especially like, even like I'm not saying anything, but like you know, the tennis player, the American women, a female tennis player, yeah, where she, she quit because she was having mental, I remember, yes, and then there's two sides to it. Yeah, we're like, yes, we have to take gymnast right no it was the tennis player the tennis player, I think the gymnast was another one too, okay. But you see, now it's starting to be like you know, like, okay, well, it's becoming a more common thing where it's okay to you know, I won't say quit, but like, oh, they need a break because they're having their mental, their mental health, yeah, but now. But then then there's the other side where it says hey, that's why you are a champion, because you are able to push through that, that heart, that hardship.
Speaker 2:
Well, because everybody has that voice. Yes, we all have that voice.
Speaker 5:
So, that's why I say is like that's a whole, nother episode altogether, because, like you know, there's the two sides. I'm not saying which side I should, that I believe but I'm just saying that, like you know what, what is right in that situation?
Speaker 2:
Sure, Well, and we've kind of given both angles of like why working through something can be good and why it can be bad. I mean, usually when you're younger, I think you're probably better off defeating that voice to some extent, you know, because when you get older you know you're good at defeating that voice beyond where you probably share.
Speaker 5:
Yeah, it's hard because, again, there's two ways to look at it, right, because what if you? Then, if you don't push through, then when the next time it's hard, again, what you're going to quit. That's exactly what I mean. So that's one way to look at it. But at the same time, now O, a or B you take a break and then figure out what the problems is and try to figure out. Okay, let me fix this. So next time I'm there, I know what I can do. Like I don't know what's right. So that's the thing is, I don't know. Yeah, you know what I mean, you know.
Speaker 3:
I always look at the coaching client relationship too. Yeah, you know, if you found yourself your 13 year old self coming to walk to you. Well, now you have all that experience that you've gone through to teach to this 13 year old kid and help him through his process.
Speaker 5:
Well, yes, that's. The very important thing is that we talked about that before is you have to make sure you choose the right people around you, number one. And then, once you've chosen those people, you have to give them your. You have to trust them and believe in them that they know what they're doing.
Speaker 1:
For me like.
Speaker 5:
I never had good coaches when I was younger. Yeah, like I never did, and I basically what I try to do is I become the coach that I never had. Yeah, you know and I'm not like I'm, I'm pretty, I'm old school, so I'm a little bit of that tough love kind of thing, yeah. So sometimes some people don't like that, yeah, but I don't like that's just I, just just how I am.
Speaker 3:
Yeah yeah, the people, the people who need you are going to like it. I loved it personally.
Speaker 5:
Well, the funny thing is is that I put up this tough exterior but I, like, I love to help, like I'm the nicest, fairest person and I'm the most caring and person you can ever think of. Like, I'll do things. I'm not the type of person that you know how sometimes people do things and they want the whole world to know that put on Instagram oh, look what I did, I donated this or I'm helping this guy. I don't do that. Like, I'm the type of guy that will, that will help somebody, and I don't want anyone to know. Yeah, I'm the guy that will donate money in an anonymous name because I don't need to. I don't want anyone to know that I'm trying to do this for publicity or anything. You know what I mean. Like even like we talk about, like what we do for our community. We hold anti bullying seminars, we hold women free women's self defense courses and I remember this just happened on the last one Some the news got wind of it and they want to do a story. And I'm like I don't want you guys in here Because, number one, I don't want people to think I'm doing this free seminar to get publicity and, number two, there's women in here that are coming here and they might have gone through something in their life and they don't want to be seen here, you know. So I don't, I don't need the publicity for it.
Speaker 2:
The first one. I would give you a counter argument to the second one. I absolutely agree with you, you know, but I would say that if you're doing something amazing for the world, then and it builds a system that you can do more amazing things for the world then I think you got.
Speaker 5:
No, no, you're right, because, like we just talked about your friend there in Cambodia, yeah, like he needs to get publicity someone like him, you know and but then the thing is that it's other people that should be doing it for him. I agree. Like for me, I'm just not that guy. That that's you know. That's what I meant by that, is that I'm not the one. Hey, look at Tyler, look what I do. Yeah, you know, look what I do. I'm doing this.
Speaker 2:
Well, like you know, you guys are really close friends of me. You're fine, right. And you guys didn't know that I went to the children's home no, for five years and volunteered. And I went to the animal shelter and volunteered. Nobody knew that I had a girlfriend, that thought I was cheating. Right, because, because that's, I'm getting getting one of your same. But here's the counter argument to that and like one thing that I've been mentally working on over the years, it's like what the importance is. It's like so is it better that Tyler went and he was humble and did some work at the children's home and helped out the little bit that he could, or is it better that Tyler talked to Cliff about it and then Cliff all of a sudden wanted to go with me one day?
Speaker 5:
Yeah, no, but see, that's different. Yeah, Like if you're telling your friends, of course, but like what I mean. I'm more than yeah like social media and all that stuff.
Speaker 2:
This is such a good chat and this is why I think it's so important, because I've been thinking about this so much. We have Keanu Reeves out there. He does amazing stuff. He does a very low key, right, it's like. But the thing is, if Keanu Reeves right now decides he wants to cure what, give me something cure hunger. Yeah, Then guess what?
Speaker 5:
A thousand five million, whatever people get on board, you know, and so like I just want you to think about it slightly different, but then like, why not somebody else do it for him? Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. Yeah.
Speaker 2:
But they'd have to know.
Speaker 5:
For them. Yeah, no, no, I get it, because here's the major dilemma. No, no, I get it, I get here's the major dilemma.
Speaker 2:
I trust me, even being on this podcast is tough for me. I know why we do it, but the same reason, the same guy that used to sneak off of the children's home is still in there.
Speaker 5:
Right, you got to be and I always want to be that humble guy and then that actually helps the home more if you bring the attention to it.
Speaker 2:
And I get that and what's important at the end of this world. So I was telling. So I went over and visited Scott, who I mentioned on the last episode. Believe it or not, life like, I've been watching Scott for years, personal hero. Give you a little bit of background on Scott really quick, because it's very relevant.
Speaker 5:
It's a great story. I mean everyone should know about this story.
Speaker 2:
And I said that in the last episode. Nobody knows who Scott Neeson is and he's a guy that worked his way up to President Fox Studios, was involved with all these huge films like Titanic and everything, and worked his way up from a high school dropout to do that, sold his mansion, sold his cars, everything and he's over right now. I met the man. He is a wonderful human being. I'm getting goosebumps talking about him because he's this much better of a human being than I could ever even hope for. You know, and I told him the same thing. I asked him Scott is evil ever humble? He said no. I was like why is good always humble? You know, it's like and I'm not saying it's easy for anybody out there doing amazing stuff in the world. It's like I'm starting to get to the point where, yes, if you give somebody on the street corner like a dollar, then maybe that's not worth going on Instagram for right. But let me finish.
Speaker 5:
So you give a dollar on.
Speaker 2:
Instagram. You probably don't need to talk about that, but if you're heavily involved with an organization and your heart is there, then I think you need to talk about it, because then you get more people involved. I came back from Africa one time. One of my close friends makes $8 million, $9 million a year. It's public, I can't remember how much and he said, tyler, why don't you ever tell me you're doing this stuff? I would love to help with it, and Tyler can make a good impact, but so can his friend who makes $8 million a year, looking for something to donate to, and his entire circle, right. And so that's my point I just want you to know that.
Speaker 5:
No, no, no. So there's two points to that now that I can say. Number one, that comes to the point of the greater good, Like what's? Yes, now you're trying to not tell people because you don't want people to think that you're, that you're doing this for publicity, but if you do now, you can actually help them more. So what's the greater good of those two? Obviously that's an easy one, and if you're a person that well not really, because if you are really somebody that cares about these kids or doing whatever you're doing, you're going to do whatever the greater good is for these kids.
Speaker 2:
So we'd all will say at that point humbleness is selfish, in a way You're being selfish, but then it's not about being humble anymore.
Speaker 5:
It's what's the greater good now? I agree Of you being humble, or do you want to help these kids? I agree 100%. What's more important?
Speaker 2:
When you're laying your head down at the end of this life. What is more important?
Speaker 5:
Yes, okay, so that's one argument. Now the argument are the argument can go to the person, the individual, because what's more important to them? Yeah, see, so then that's why, like man, we can talk about stuff like this all day is because there's so many trains of thought, but you can't tell somebody to change their, their beliefs or the person they are, just because, like yes, that is greater good in our eyes and probably most people's eyes, but in their eyes they're like no, I just want to stay humble and this is. I can't do that, I just don't sell. That's where the argument goes now.
Speaker 2:
But that's why so like if you're said person in that argument. That's why I wanted to speak to you about what I said. Well yes, because I want you to double think that and think about the person that you are. Because I can tell you right now there is people out there in the world like, let's say, somebody that's making a course you know about business and they know nothing about business and they're making all this money around this business course and they're actually doing them a disservice because they're going to spend all their money. It's a scam, right, you know? Like there is that person out there in the world. That person's not humble, he's happy to take that money away from people you know. But then on the other side you have somebody that maybe is really good at business and you know, out there and not not boasting themselves up, you know it's hard, that's.
Speaker 5:
that's a hard argument, like the whole thing, right?
Speaker 2:
Yeah, it is.
Speaker 5:
It was just made to make people think Well yeah, and it's really at the end of the day, it's like it's all behind the person. Yeah, what's their objective? Yeah, and what do they want?
Speaker 2:
Somebody like Scott in Cambodia. I mean, if I could make him, make him, I would have him on TV all the time because what he's doing is so important and he needs anybody.
Speaker 5:
Well, that's the thing now, like he has to think what's his goal is? To help these kids, yeah. But then you see him. He doesn't want to publicize it because he doesn't want to get caught up in that whole Hollywood thing again. No, he's a really humble guy, Well seeing, that's why see, now you can't tell him to not be humble, because that's who he is, you see. but then that's why you can talk him into why it's important that you can understand that, but that's why he has people like you who go help publicize it now, do you know what I mean? Yeah, and he's not stopping you from it.
Speaker 2:
I mean, you're giving me the proper, perfect opportunity to plug our new docu series which we just filled for, you know. But that's exactly what we do, People is like the reason.
Speaker 5:
I like I know I'm here to talk about me this and that, but you know what A guy like that needs publicity.
Speaker 2:
Oh yeah, I mean that's exactly what we do.
Speaker 5:
I'm basically vouching for him that person is helping like and he sacrificed everything, yeah.
Speaker 2:
He's changing the world, and that's what the premise of that docu series is is showing people that there is real heroes in the world we're cooking up to and then also vouching for people, because they are humble people, right?
Speaker 5:
So well, like that story. You told me how he got into it all. It just makes me really think about life again. Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 2:
You want to tell everyone. I mean we'll, we'll leave that for the actual show, but please tune into the docu series because that story have how.
Speaker 5:
what's his name again, sir Scott Neeson. Scott Neeson got into helping these children in Cambodia. Is insane, yeah, and it'll make you really think about life.
Speaker 2:
Well, and what's crazy to me and I know we talked about this a little bit before the show all people have to do, and that's what this is right. This is all people have to do. I started realizing, if people were using content out there, that we're doing it for not so good things. To have a, how you know it's okay to have a house, have a fancy car, whatever you want in life, right. But you know, there's things that are important too. It's like give Scott a little bit of attention. That's all you have to do. Our monetization in this planet that's the biggest one is time and attention. These days, you don't even have to give money anymore. You just watch YouTube for a minute. And then guess what? If they have millions of hit on their YouTube channel now that money goes to Scott and his charity. Right, and just take a little bit more time. I guess not to pick on the Kardashians. Take a little less time on the Kardashians. Watch Scott.
Speaker 5:
The world changes, it's true, but the world doesn't work that way. Sometimes, I know People want entertainment and they want, you know, things that are juicy and scandalous you know, all we can do is try.
Speaker 3:
No, I'll give you one million, the one thing, though, that I will say that shows up consistently. The principle is that you're talking about who are you hanging around? You got a perspective shift because you hang up. You hung around someone who gave you a perspective shift, and then you're looking to share the perspective shift and you have your own perspective shift, giving abilities, and I kind of look at this world and say, like, be curious in life, why. Why is Diaz thinking the way he's thinking? Why is? Tyler thinking the way he's thinking? Why is Cliff think the way he thinks? Why do these kids think the way that they think? And Part of part of what stopped me from even dealing with bullies was my curiosity. Yeah, hey, why are you picking on me? Yeah, which is an excellent makes them actually think like why am I picking on him?
Speaker 2:
Yeah, it's such a good question. I want to give Diaz a chance to talk about, by the way, such insightful stuff. I think it is really gonna help you. I want to give you a chance to talk about what you're up to these days like oh man, like I, I don't get a day off. Yeah.
Speaker 5:
Like I've been thinking about ever since. Like we expanded the gym, like we got a great story yeah, like you know. What's really hurtful, though, is that people look at me like I'm a corporate now. Yeah, they think, because I have these million dollar facilities and that I'm like you know, we're being so successful that I'm the I'm like you know, whatever they call it the man type thing, you know, and I'm not. Yeah, I'm still that kid that got bullied. Yeah, I'm still. Like we started my gym in my garage. Yeah, like I don't forget that. Yeah, you know where. I'm not this super rich guy, I'm just this guy who works super hard. Like, even when it comes to the gym, people always like think, oh yeah, this, look at this guy. He owns these two gyms and or did all this. You know, man, like you know that I live in a. My place in Vancouver is just this little condo, and I try to explain this to people that I had an opportunity to buy a house. Yeah, and what I did was I bought everyone a house. Yeah, and that's the new facilities, opposed to buying me myself a house. Yeah, you know, and sometimes people forget that, like yo, I don't know what they think you know I don't try to drive nice cars or anything like that. I'm not like that. Yeah but, you know, for some reason, people forget that I'm a human being, yeah, and that you know, hey, I got feelings too, and then this and that. But back to like, what I'm up to is like, yeah, like, we're trying to keep everything going. That's number one. You know, I want to. My whole goal was to have one of the nicest and best gyms in the entire world, yeah, you know. And then the thing is is, while doing that, you're like I didn't never taught how to do this stuff. Yeah, like, and so basically, I'm learning every day, sure, and then, like, you know, there's it's funny because my best friends, best friends with Dana White and he and he told, he told him a line that he has to do every day, and you know what that is is you have to put out fires every day. Oh yeah sometimes they're small fires, sometimes they're bigger fires, but basically that's what I have to do every day is put out fires, yeah. And then, at the same time you're putting out these fires, you're trying to get ahead. Yeah, you're trying to do something different in your life or do something big. Yeah, you know, we have this On our staircase. We have this saying. It says we only have one life. Why not do something big with it? And and it's funny because I reason I put that on there was because when we were looking to get these, these, these new facility the first one, not the second one the first one it was expensive, yeah, it was millions of dollars. And I just I went through it in my head. I'm like there's no way that this is gonna happen. Yeah, like this, I can't make this happen. So I went into a meeting and then this was the guy that was putting the whole deal together and I went there's gonna say no. I was gonna say no, this can't. I don't know how this is gonna work. And then he said something to me. He said that line he goes Ryan, you know that we only have one life. Why not do something big with it? And in that second, I'm like okay, let's do this. Yeah, like you gotta understand that was a split second decision, because I went there to say no, yeah, and I switched it to yes and now look where we are sure, so we're looking to do that. And then another thing that now, now that we've been in business longer, there's a lot of people that you know that want to compete and want to fight, so they like work. It feels like I'm at fights every weekend, yeah, and then obviously I'm one of the owners here at the lab and we have tons of fighters here and I'm trying to help them as much as I possibly can too. So we're at fights all the time. And then we're looking to expand the lab too, you know, and it's just like you just got to ride. Like the way I look at it is you got to just ride the wave so he can do, yeah, make decisions in the moment, yeah and then sometimes that's just like shoot now what I gotta do. I gotta make a decision right now. Right now, like and it's fun, yeah, and keep it to your.
Speaker 2:
That's all business talk, but keep it to your eventual, like lifelong strategy, right? Well, yeah business long strategy. Yeah, you know.
Speaker 5:
But there's one thing like you got to have fun while you're doing it, too Right, and that's why it all comes down to like having the people around you, because if you have the right people, you know one of the things that I was told when I was a kid, and this guy said it was one of my good friends. And he said one of the best lines I could have ever thought of and I was only 19, 20 at the time Because he helped me out a lot and he and he didn't need to. Yeah, you know he didn't. He helped me with just little things. Like, just helped me out. You know, make some money. And like you know, because obviously as a fighter you don't make a lot of money. Yeah, and then I asked him like, oh, why did you help me out so much? You didn't have to. You know. He said he goes, ryan, it's only at the top. Why don't you bring your brothers and sisters with you? And after that line, I've never forgot about that. So I always try to help people as much as I can, even though I have a tough Exterior and sometimes people might think, oh, yeah, that guy's not the nicest guy. But like, really that's. I don't forget those little ideologies and little things and that always stuck with me. Yeah, so when it comes to like what you're doing, you know you have to have fun while you're doing and you have these people, like your brothers and sister, that you have around you, you know, and then you do it together.
Speaker 2:
Yeah, yeah. Well, and I mean I can, I can speak for you firsthand that you guys have done an incredible job with the MMA community and with your. You know, like, I think you're such a Type case for like what an amazing MMA gym is, because it's a welcoming place, it's a home place, I think, all the time, even though, like, it's harder for me to train because my body's broken these days. It was the best decision I ever made. One of them in my life was walking in that gym. I wouldn't be sitting here with you guys right now. You know I can't count the number of hours We've spent together, not only the training. You know like being good for my mental health. You know physically, and you know I still hit the bag every day. You know my body doesn't want to go in there and train with these guys anymore. But you know it's like. So you make a lifelong Impact, even if it's not somebody's career that they're well that's the thing is about, like, martial arts.
Speaker 5:
Like I tell, I try to explain this to parents. One of the main reasons I opened a gym up to was because I think about, like, if I didn't have martial arts in my life, like where would I be? I don't know. So the thing was, I took it to the farthest level, I went fighting and became professional, yeah, but the thing is, is that some, what kids can do with this is that they can just take the discipline, the hard, like the ethics of hard work and teamwork, and and and and take that into whatever they go into life. That's why the martial arts is important, especially nowadays. Yeah, like you know, they our parents said this to us when we were young because they're oh yeah, you should see what we've been through and it's you guys changing so much. But I don't know how to say this, but with the social media and how fast technology went, it's changed way faster. Yeah, like you know, we talk about so many things like Kids are on their iPads more than ever and they're disconnecting. Like even I know I catch myself at dinners with people and we're all on our phones.
Speaker 2:
You know that's such a good point. So when they're in their gym, it's not exactly like they can be on our iPad.
Speaker 5:
No, and that's why they go back to being. You know they're back to way, like, back to normal interactions, but you know that's what I say now, but now, in the future, maybe a normal interaction is everyone going on their VR thing and going to a club, like I don't know, but like there's not. One thing I learned about COVID yeah, when we were COVID and everyone was shut down, you know, and gyms were getting shut down and people can go to certain places and can do certain things, you know, the one thing that people miss the most Was just social interaction. Oh, definitely. Oh, like we. There was a time where we were like people would like. So there was a time at our place where we were only allowed to do private lessons. Yeah, so we can do classes. We were doing private lessons. People would just show up at the door and talk to us for an hour Because they just couldn't, didn't talk to them, went for so long. Yeah. People are just happy to be out of the house and just be around other people. That's what it was.
Speaker 2:
I would say people shouldn't forget that, because then, like we don't have to take for granted that we're able to go to the gym today, able to see friends today.
Speaker 5:
The thing is that's human. It's human. They take like if you're doing the same thing every day, you take it for granted, because it's just there all the time and it's hard not to take things for granted.
Speaker 2:
I couldn't agree more. Yep, oh, so good. I'm glad you made time. We've been trying to set this up for a while, even last season, you know, like I think that you said some things that are incredibly helpful, you know, for the kids out there in the community watching. And yeah, I mean, check Diaz's gyms out. They have the lab here and then they have DS, context, dcs in Vancouver To check out, and then you can see Diaz. I see him on TV all the time. Just watch a UFC fight and you'll catch him in the corner.
Speaker 3:
Thank you, as always, my brother. Yeah, definitely check Diaz out. Marinate in this wisdom, hear the stories again If you're watching to the end. Thank you for taking the time like share comment. Let us know what you're feeling. And he had some major, major takeaways that I do want to share again. He talks about belief systems in yourself, belief systems of the people you surround yourself with, and being ready to just take the necessary actions, get the experience. And then he also talked about if you're looking to fight or looking to get good, where you can defend yourself shadow boxing, hitting that boxing bag and what was the oh? Watching YouTube videos, youtube videos. Do those three things and remember there's greatness in you, it's always gonna be in you, and you have a champion side of you. So, yeah, thank you, brother.
Speaker 5:
He's talking about YouTube. You guys are like you do? We had VHS tapes. Go buy them from somebody.
Speaker 2:
Thanks everybody for tuning in episode one. We have a great season that we're gonna do another eight episodes on. Please let us know if you want to have somebody on. Thanks.
Speaker 1:
You've been listening to bully this a hero's journey. The effects on kids that are bullied are many increased risk for depression, anxiety, sleep difficulties, lower grades and dropping out of school. It's a real problem and that's why we created this show. We're acutely aware of the pain, shame and damage that bullying causes, and our passion is to help kids and families to know that there is always help, that there is always a solution. We hope you've gotten some useful information from the show. Make sure to like, rate and review, and we'll be back soon, but in the meantime, find us on Facebook at bully this a hero's journey. Take care and we'll see you next time. Oh.